tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53009267404562634532024-03-22T01:42:43.424+00:00SuperPennie saysSuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.comBlogger130125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-48380083876822739712013-11-28T14:11:00.003+00:002013-11-28T14:11:40.918+00:00This blog has now movedThis blog has now moved to: http://misspennieisme.tumblr.com/<br />
<br />
This is for a number of reasons. Partly for a change of scenery. Do pop by.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-41213142793535972332013-01-20T23:56:00.001+00:002013-01-20T23:59:56.672+00:00The unfortunate case of Texas Chainsaw 3D<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a6/TheTexasChainsawMassacre3DPoster.jpg/215px-TheTexasChainsawMassacre3DPoster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a6/TheTexasChainsawMassacre3DPoster.jpg/215px-TheTexasChainsawMassacre3DPoster.jpg" /></a></div>
When I first saw a poster advertising Texas Chainsaw 3D on a bus I got quite excited. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I expected this film to be fantastic. I was clearly let down. In fact, the more I think about it, the more disappointed I become.<br />
<br />
John Luessenhop's addition to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise starts where the 1974 original left off, literally, with the final girl from the first film making a break for it and the cops responding to the call from the truck driver who found her. Luessenhop flashes through those original murders, speeding you to date, just in time to watch a mob burn down Leatherface's family house.<br />
<br />
The film centres on a baby who is kidnapped from the homicidal cannibal family. Snap to the present and this baby is played by 26-year-old Alexandra Daddario, who did fine – all things considered. Though I beg you all to think about the maths for a moment; surely the baby should be older. The acting was fine and she did the sexy, slightly crazy thing fine; but I wasn't blown away. In fact, I spent much of the film wondering why whoever was in charge of wardrobe decided she shouldn't wear a bra. I also didn't understand why her midriff had to be on show throughout the whole film; don't get me wrong, it was a lovely stomach, but I want more from a main character than sexy-girl-screaming and sexy-girl-crazy. I actually want a whole lot more from a film than this film even tried to offer. <br />
<br />
The 3D itself was a total let down and the movie moved so slow there wasn't a scare in sight. To add to the offences, the only thing I felt was sympathy for Leatherface. I don't want to feel sorry for the bad guy; I want to be screaming for someone to finish him! Instead, I found myself rooting for him, hoping he'd be ok.<br />
<br />
The dialogue throughout was basically pointless at almost all sections of the film, and dragged slowly between exchanges. Leatherface, who is known as Jed instead of Babba, seems to have an unlimited supply of chainsaws lying around the house. There is a scene where two of the characters are running away from him and go to all the effort of locking the wooden door with a wooden log. The whole time you're thinking 'he's holding a chainsaw, idiot'. Then he cuts through it. Obviously.<br />
<br />
Overall it's efforts were laughable. As a horror movie it was a total fail, but with a fair few lols along the way to try and make up for it. The highlight being near the close of play, involving a meat factory. No scares, patchy storyline, limited tension and bad 3D. Definitely not worth the ridiculous cost of a cinema ticket; made me reminisce about the days it only cost £2.50 to see a film at Hollywood Green.<br />
<br />
I'm genuinely a little concerned for the horror movie genre. I can't remember the last time I saw a decent one.<br />
<br />SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-60993364754803497132012-12-28T15:39:00.002+00:002012-12-28T18:36:40.088+00:00'Tis the season... to lose weight<img alt="" class="alignnone" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7037/6968505791_9fbf084566_z.jpg" width="540" /><br />
With Christmas out of the way, and weeks of solid advertising preaching for the season of gluttony, it's time to feel the guilt. What sin! How could you? How could you eat two Christmas dinners and a box of chocolate? What you need now is a diet. But, don't even think about fresh fruit – no, what you need is the best in diet foods: low-fat cake, low-fat yogurt, low-fat ready meals. And don't waste time walking around the park – get a gym membership instead. New trainers, new trackies, new you. That's what you want, isn't it? A new you. A you you don't feel guilty for being. Purge away your sin and spend in the Church of Consumerism. Because you are not a person if you don't.<br />
<br />
Every year is much of the same. Every year we are bombarded with the same message: 'tis the season. Somewhere along the line, the festive season went from celebrating love and life to celebrating stuff. Television, news, interwebs, people – everything is telling us to consume as much possible, be it food or stuff. Telling us that without such purchases, Christmas will be a disaster. Telling us not to let our loved ones down. And this line is embedded, one only has to look at the mothers among us to see the stress of ensuring everyone has the perfect Christmas.<br />
<br />
But as soon as the day of eating too much food is out the way, the ads switch on us. The very same mediums that were telling us to eat as much as we could, now tell us we've all put on a few pounds. That we've let ourselves go and we simply must lose weight. If we don't, we're undesirable. They're making us feel guilty for doing the very thing we were so encouraged to do, but they're pretending to be on our side all the time. They're offering us guidance and a hand to help us through the difficult transition into that Better You.
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCeP703J06z-pr33Z4FU2Ik3G7HFiljrYsGYO7SHNLpXfNYP0NJE2K6z1IMY6zVCYQOLMOsYsZ37Ca5V2zP3D8f38XavNfk24zFxRncdSNE7QBIna3wR6bPrzKJKFKJIbhJHLF3WsuEmCw/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-28+at+14.48.15.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCeP703J06z-pr33Z4FU2Ik3G7HFiljrYsGYO7SHNLpXfNYP0NJE2K6z1IMY6zVCYQOLMOsYsZ37Ca5V2zP3D8f38XavNfk24zFxRncdSNE7QBIna3wR6bPrzKJKFKJIbhJHLF3WsuEmCw/s320/Screen+shot+2012-12-28+at+14.48.15.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
In my inbox this morning I found a direct hit. LA Fitness encouraging me to 'join the new year's health resolution' (which, admittedly, I read as 'revolution' the first time. I don't know if that's my dyslexia, or if they engineered it themselves). The tagline reads: 'Start achieving your health and fitness goals today'.<br />
<br />
I don't know about everyone else, but I was still on the 'let yourself go' part of the festive season; drinking beer and eating seconds. But it seems I'm supposed to stop eating in time for the next set of festivities: new year's. As we enter into 2013 I need to set myself some new rules for being a better person, and advertisers the world-over are promising to help.<br />
<br />
LA Fitness isn't the only company encouraging a change of tact. The diet industry thrives off our insecurities, and this is a great time of year to hit out. It stayed quiet for a couple of weeks, giving us all long enough to eat more than we would usually, to ensure we're primed and ready to purge.<br />
<br />
Happy holidays.<br />
<br />
Follow Pennie Varvarides on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/superpennie">@superpennie </a>SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-85433954819084073422012-05-24T21:27:00.003+01:002012-05-24T21:41:31.297+01:00Sustaining sustainabilityIt seems we've all hit a bump in the road. When the idea of sustainability started creeping up, it was logical and as such its spread made good sense. Picture your fair trade coffee or chocolate bar. People started taking responsibility for the way they ran their businesses and started looking at the long game.<br />
<br />
See, if you run a businesses unsustainably, well, that's just it; it's unsustainable. You can't keep damaging the earth, for example, 'cause at some point it isn't going to be able to produce what you're willing it to produce. You can't keep digging stuff up and throwing it away, 'cause you eventually run out of stuff.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's like going into your kitchen and seeing the cupboards are full and gorging, for days. At some point you run out of food. And at some point you need to restock. We'll what happens if you can't? Say somebody blew up Tesco or something, and that was it, no more. All gone. Destroyed. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
(Ok, maybe the Tesco analogy isn't really up there with clear and distinct bits of prose, but I'm just going to keep talking and hope you're following.) </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Nonetheless, the idea that actions need to be considered in terms of the possibility of it being able to be sustained over time, is great. Real great.<br />
<br />
Now, at some point, this became another buzzword. It's a word people throw out there to feign green credentials ('green' is also one of those buzzwords. Like 'up skill' and 'solution'.) But it isn't even just that the word struggles to really mean anything anymore, the word also seems to drum up moans from the masses. The masses who class it all as voodoo or a trick, like wanting to make things last is crazy talk from hippy sorts or witches. It drums up distrust, as though somebody made it all up. Like it's just a theory and the environment is fine - and heck, who gives a crap anyway, right? It'll last longer than me, so what do I care?<br />
<br />
All this social responsibility lark is hard work. Energy and materials are expensive, water is essential and recycling takes too long. And don't forget in our beautifully capitalist society we must all worship money and not waste it on frivolous activities, such as preserving the environment. The environment is just there to be raped. Screw the animals, screw the poor and screw our future generations. The world is over-populated anyway.<br />
<br />
But the thing is, we don't really have a choice. Or, I guess we do: try and slow our demise down, or try and speed it up.<br />
<br />
Sustainability isn't just about the planet and our futures and happy-clappy crap like that. It can also save you money. And one of the saddest things ever is that to get people to do good, you have to bribe them with cash. But whatever, it works. Maybe the reasons aren't so important, when the outcome is so great. So people, weighed down by the crushing costs of energy and governments trying their hardest to make life harder, are slowly getting used to the idea of sustainability; but differently this time. Because the first time round it was all exciting and loud and boomed of its importance, and this time it's almost automatic. Almost. Kids dropping waste in the right bins without thinking, office slaves not over boiling water on the tea runs and finance directors dishing out the upfront costs for energy efficient measures.<br />
<br />
People are doing it. Slowly. But we really need to step up our game a bit. </div>SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-71519990902194640662011-10-10T20:45:00.000+01:002011-10-10T20:45:41.914+01:00AsianAdventures - take twoI am not sure if I've told the beginning of this story already, so I'll start there before I move on.<br />
<br />
It's three days into my new job at <a href="http://luxmagazine.co.uk/">Lux</a>. I'm on my way to work reading a Paulo Coelho book and daydreaming about travelling. I regain focus and turn the page. The title reads 'advice for travellers'.<br />
<br />
'Gosh,' I say. 'It must be a sign.'<br />
<br />
I get into work and am called into the other room by my editor. He asks me what I'm doing at the end of September and if I'd like to go to Hong Kong...<br />
<br />
I'm sure I don't need to tell you how the conversation ended.<br />
<br />
So having returned from my AsianAdventures I feel I should share some of my stories. Especially as I don't think I ever got round to writing about my AsianAdventures - take one.<br />
<br />
My first press trip. It's like <i>my first book</i> or <i>my first computer</i> – something magical and life changing.<br />
<br />
It's now been a week since my awesome week in Asia. When we arrived at the (beautiful) Hotel Icon we all unpacked and did our own thing until the evening. My own thing consisted of a Thai massage in the spa and a quick exploration of the local area.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LUhkxbE4MACCPyCa4B1Hs045AXfOg72grJlHjsJFjVSBs8OEoqVpXgOZvWHBIUaaSqdqvwu0NA4LQiV44JErmCRHSJLc6GCSSavGtbQ3B81FxCXzcT2-xSTCUXzbgETdKXcBbz_BZkr4/s1600/IMG_0051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5LUhkxbE4MACCPyCa4B1Hs045AXfOg72grJlHjsJFjVSBs8OEoqVpXgOZvWHBIUaaSqdqvwu0NA4LQiV44JErmCRHSJLc6GCSSavGtbQ3B81FxCXzcT2-xSTCUXzbgETdKXcBbz_BZkr4/s320/IMG_0051.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>This was my first time in a five star hotel and my first time in a spa. Both are things I would recommend.<br />
<br />
Later that evening we went for dinner, where the Megaman MD insisted on getting everybody very drunk. I successfully avoided such a conclusion, but not drinking any of the shots and instead handing them over to somebody else.<br />
<br />
Ha, rule one of journalism: Never be drunker than the people you're talking to.<br />
<br />
There was drunkeness and dancing and new friends to be made. I set the tone for the rest of my week by making a few new friends on day one.<br />
<br />
The factory we went to visit was in China, which meant my first ChinaTrip. We only got to stay a day and didn't really see much other than the view from the coach and the factory. I am a little in love and most definitely want to return and explore properly.<br />
<br />
We definitely faced a communication barrier in China, unlike in Hong Kong. It makes me feel terrible that my language skills aren't great and people always speak English, which is almost an excuse not to try. (Side note: I've decided to learn Italian. Wish me luck.)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBDlRdTXHY0kYql5qAQhuj9x4l9xHacjdvbLcd9TXuME7ISYg6x2V7tStyawGBJNBEIoKizrlQ2EXPhuNeWiG7oe5dvwjjKujZkiYPUeoSkiTQW5yiPisYWXqBG6NIC0IZxYXXMV-D4oWg/s1600/IMG_0298.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBDlRdTXHY0kYql5qAQhuj9x4l9xHacjdvbLcd9TXuME7ISYg6x2V7tStyawGBJNBEIoKizrlQ2EXPhuNeWiG7oe5dvwjjKujZkiYPUeoSkiTQW5yiPisYWXqBG6NIC0IZxYXXMV-D4oWg/s320/IMG_0298.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
One night I managed to take a few of the other editors and the marketing girl to the red light district of Hong Kong. Wan Chai is the home of bars that stay open late mid-week, so that is were we went - to a bar called Amazonia.<br />
<br />
Here one of the editors was repeatedly accosted by a prostitute called Sarah.<br />
<br />
Wednesday was most of the others' last day, so we did some touristy things. We jumped in a taxi and asked for the bottom of the peak, so we could get the tram. Instead we were taken to the top of the peak, into the carpark of a shopping mall.<br />
<br />
We followed the building up to the top, where we discovered we were in fact in the wrong building. We were high up enough to see all the awesome however, so it didn't matter.<br />
<br />
It was very windy way up high, which we later discovered the reason for.<br />
<br />
We got the tram back down to town and saw a sign saying 'Typhoon 1 has been hoisted' while we waited on the platform.<br />
<br />
Later, waiting for the ferry, we saw another sign saying the same thing.<br />
<br />
'Gee, they like naming things typhoon out here, don't they?'<br />
<br />
It wasn't until later, when the typhoon warning reached a number 3 did we realise what the signs actually meant. Lots of the guys had to fly home that night.<br />
<br />
As work was now officially over, I checked out of the beautiful posh hotel and into a horrible YWCA further inland. It was an unpleasant experience. The shower smelt of mould, for one.<br />
<br />
So Thursday morning I wake up and leave the YWCA. Walking around an empty Kowloon, I giggle to myself. 'Gosh,' I think. 'How have I managed to find the quiet part of Hong Kong? I wonder where everyone is.'<br />
<br />
No cars. No people. Strange.<br />
<br />
After walking around for about 30 or 40 minutes, following road signs and intuition I have managed to discover many a council estate-esque place, lots of dead ends and loads of residential roads. And a taxi. A lone taxi.<br />
<br />
I flag him down and struggle to ask for the Science Museum. On arrival I am told that the museum is closed - along with the rest of Hong Kong.<br />
<br />
Hong Kong closed?<br />
<br />
You see, the typhoon warning had gone up to a number 8. Eight is enough to ground flights and close businesses. Do you like how nobody at the YWCA cared to tell me about this? How they just let me walk out to my potential death!<br />
<br />
Ok, so my first experience of a typhoon later led me to realise my life was never in any sort of danger, but for dramatic effect, let's pretend it was.<br />
<br />
As soon as I stepped outside the Science Museum, down came the rain. And boy, did it come down. I stood under a sheltered bit for a while and watched as others did the same. Unsure how long such rainfalls last, and aware of the fact that rain can't hurt me, I started walking.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMMZ0GoRzvw8UeGn9WV-kweEXGOYTaq-ZcLyn2ZQqsqMbZU1FOvmJFYg2AglY83eTehyphenhyphen80jRF1ATFKmlD1kUMeo78tb8bXg8IngUdjV3Qv0iIIR_vKcpOOlh0PSh9SIuSjmmrHIi2mkFas/s1600/IMG_0310.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMMZ0GoRzvw8UeGn9WV-kweEXGOYTaq-ZcLyn2ZQqsqMbZU1FOvmJFYg2AglY83eTehyphenhyphen80jRF1ATFKmlD1kUMeo78tb8bXg8IngUdjV3Qv0iIIR_vKcpOOlh0PSh9SIuSjmmrHIi2mkFas/s320/IMG_0310.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>The nice hotel was only around the corner, so it wasn't so bad.<br />
<br />
I went it, had lunch, used the free wi-fi and waited out the rain.<br />
<br />
I ended up booking myself in for a night and spending far too much money on a room. I was there for such a long time and it was just so nice and the other place just so horrid.<br />
<br />
And I really wanted a bath. Super expensive bath!<br />
<br />
That evening I took myself for a walk along the harbour, when the warning went back down to three. I took pictures along the Avenue of Stars and put my hand in Bruce Lee's handprint.<br />
<br />
I then took myself for dinner and had the most amazing thing I've ever eaten. Thai red curry in a baked pumpkin. Lush.<br />
<br />
I soon ended up back at Amazonia, and for the first time all trip allowed myself to get drunk. I managed to befriend everyone on and near the dance floor as well as most people outside. It was a fantastic evening.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Q9tN4As7aBG3t5fGKmHK0nGS2tNU0EZu0jLt986bxJMgTDPdFbmYPwtMLmWi2PzxU1fF0yMBtSgCLF6vFvoJAnUpcSpJg1f0lQyIbpyEMgK6kIHvwESWOX2ONb9MMWz0Ama-dh21qrAI/s1600/IMG_0341.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Q9tN4As7aBG3t5fGKmHK0nGS2tNU0EZu0jLt986bxJMgTDPdFbmYPwtMLmWi2PzxU1fF0yMBtSgCLF6vFvoJAnUpcSpJg1f0lQyIbpyEMgK6kIHvwESWOX2ONb9MMWz0Ama-dh21qrAI/s320/IMG_0341.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>I spent my last day doing an open bus tour of Hong Kong Island, where I found Victoria Park. I sat for a while by a fountain watching an old man play with toy boats. I also discovered the play area, where they're teaching children to read brail (and English)!<br />
<br />
All-in-all: Amazing AsianAdventures. More please.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-61279203372286767172011-08-31T01:53:00.002+01:002011-09-03T12:03:38.796+01:00The power of repetitionIn the months between finishing my postgrad and coming to London I found myself repeating words I didn't believe. I found myself omitting information I couldn't bring myself to share. I found myself laying a foundation I didn't know I was laying.<br />
<br />
I wrote very few blog posts in that time, but I just read one about positive thinking. At the time, I wasn't prepared to divulge how broken I was. This was in part because I didn't want to upset the person who broke me and partly because I didn't want to show weakness.<br />
<br />
The interesting thing about weakness is, once you've overcome it, you don't mind people knowing it was once a cross you carried. Of course, I can't speak for everyone, but that's how it has worked in my situation.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3299/3501323262_4ec3e725a9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3299/3501323262_4ec3e725a9.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by MrsMinifig</td></tr>
</tbody></table>But my vague attempts to pretend I was fine and thinking positive in fact led to a newfound positive attitude. Things that I said in that blog post - and that I found (still find) myself repeating to people around me - became part of my being. They sunk into the depths of my conscious and pitched up.<br />
<br />
'Nothing is ever as bad as it seems,' is but an example. Telling people that positive energy breeds positivity seemed to ignite a positivity I didn't know I possessed, but pretended to flaunt.<br />
<br />
'There are two types of people in this world, those who say they're going to do something and those who do it.' - But another example of a line I repeated, up until the point I became the latter type of person.<br />
<br />
Since my return from Hell (also known as sunny Swindon), I've been on many an adventure, spoken to many different types of people, made many new friends and read many new books, as I begin to discover my path. A path I may not have known I was looking for if everything didn't go to shit.<br />
<br />
One of my favourite quotes of late is from a Paulo Coelho book: 'Sometimes, certain blessings arrive by shattering all the windows.'<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/81/247975938_dc2881edd7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/81/247975938_dc2881edd7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Ed Schipul</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I think that's true.<br />
<br />
I think if I can go from wanting to vanish off the face of the Earth, to a balanced contentment so sharply, anybody can. So for anyone body reading this who is feeling down or hating the world or things just aren't going right for you, try a little experiment. What's it going to hurt?<br />
<br />
Spend the next month saying:<br />
<br />
<b>'Nothing's ever as bad as it seems,' </b>and <b>'I'm so lucky.'</b><br />
<br />
On repeat. Repetition is key. Say it to yourself and say it to other people. And while you're at it start saying<b> 'yes' </b>more.<br />
<br />
Danny Wallace may have played an important role in changing my life =p Maybe you should also read Yes Man, while you're at it.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-60409141466833201912011-08-23T07:30:00.000+01:002011-08-23T07:30:34.208+01:00Something magicalI posted something magical to <a href="http://SuperPennie.com/">SuperPennie.com</a>. I'd love for you to go investigate =]SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-70102112707604050642011-07-24T12:57:00.001+01:002011-07-24T13:01:56.512+01:00Every so often things changeEvery so often I remember that I've been ignoring you. And slightly less often I tell myself this needs to be addressed. And even less often I find myself sat here, spilling an unedited stream of conscious down the throats of whoever is prepared to read it.<br />
<br />
Things change. Life is in this constant state of flux and the better you get at keeping up with the waves, the more fun the whole game is. Unfortunately, nobody ever really gets the hang of the game completely and we all wipeout once in a while.<br />
<br />
Since having returned to London at the end of May, I've started seeing things differently. Or rather, I've started seeing things. Really looking at the world around me. Really taking in everything that I possibly can and my change of approach has had positive repercussions.<br />
<br />
I am now the assistant editor on <i>Lux</i> magazine - and I can tell you this: This is most certainly the perfect PennieJob.<br />
<br />
I get to do real journalism. I get to go out and talk to people and make things happen. I get to organise and write and take pictures. I get to experience the journalistic process every step of the way.<br />
<br />
And I am so damn lucky.<br />
<br />
My change of approach has me meeting new people, doing new things, seeing new sights. I've always been pretty impulsive, but I'm definitely more so. Just decide and go. Maybe that should be my motto.<br />
<br />
As always, every good comes with its fair share of bad and my bad was pretty bad. But humans tend to focus on the bad a bit too much. So I'm putting it in a box. Nostalgia is great but it can hold you back, remind you of a good that you'll never have again and hinder all those new goods trying to find you. And the old goods were pretty perfect goods while they lasted and I will always look upon them fondly, but the world will give you new goods everyday if you let it.<br />
<br />
I've been reading an awful lot since starting at <i>Lux</i> - I read a lot already, but much more these days - thanks to my epic hour and a half journey to work in the morning (and thus hour and a half journey back again). My love for Paulo Coelho has been rekindled with a new found openness to the universe and to life in general. This openness has pushed me towards a path that I'm sure I'm meant to be on and have no idea to where it leads. But that most definitely makes it all the more exciting! It's a constant adventure and a daily dose of something new and it's perfect.<br />
<br />
The other day I met a witch. I've never met a witch before and it was fascinating. I feel as though I learnt much about myself and the nature of being through our conversation - perhaps not 'learnt' in the sense that I could explain any of it to anyone, more like this subtle understanding that I'm going the right way.<br />
<br />
I have no idea what that way is and I'm pretty sure everyone's way is a different way and thus certain paths must cross and sometimes walk together in time, but eventually paths must split.<br />
<br />
We will all come across people within our lives who we were meant to meet and who will play an important role in our lives, so just go with it while it lasts. You never know what they can teach you.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-87749228543569253142011-04-18T20:08:00.001+01:002011-07-24T13:07:21.347+01:00Not talking<a href="http://philosophycomplex.blogspot.com/">A friend</a> just sent me to: <a href="http://wp.me/p1sBO2-1L">Why shoddy writing is better than good writing</a> by Claire Creffield. His intention was to hurry me up and encourage me to blog something, so here I go:<br />
<br />
During an emotional crisis, not talking seems like the best idea. The more you talk about something, the more you are thinking about something and the more that something is going to get to you. So I try to avoid talking about things that make me cry.<br />
<br />
The only problem with this technique however, is that it is normally something that I probably need to talk about.<br />
<br />
So, where do you find the balance?<br />
<br />
If you start talking about these things that you know in your gut you shouldn't talk about, then start getting over emotional, you look like a fool. This is only going to make things worse, because I can guarantee that more often then not, you are going to tell the person that you really shouldn't be telling and looking like a fool in front of the person you really want to think highly of you.<br />
<br />
So, what do you do?<br />
<br />
Well, as it stands, I have absolutely no idea. I think it's about trying really hard to not feel anything, then you can talk about it and it doesn't matter. But even better than that: it just doesn't matter.<br />
<br />
I used to be in a constant state of it-just-doesn't-matter a while back. Some of you may remember way back when, when I first started this blog. I named it A Broken Nihilist on purpose. Dissect at point. Then something happened. In amongst the general rubbish that life throws at you, I caught something special.<br />
<br />
Happy works like dominos.<br />
<br />
Once you start getting happy, suddenly you look around you and everything is fabulous. You see rainbows on cloudy days and find change lying around. You believe that everything is going to be ok and that the world is actually alright. That things always work out how they are supposed to.<br />
<br />
You start to believe things you once thought were ridiculous. You start to believe in love. You become that bubbling pot of rainbow juice.<br />
<br />
The problem with this new happy-clappy-loved-up-flappy state is that you are vulnerable. The most vulnerable you have ever been. You get paranoid. You become terrified that something is going to shake the boat. Then before you know it you are right back at self-destruct. Right where you started - and you have no idea how to not be. You realise that within the nothingness of before, you were safe. You realise that pleasure brings pain. You wish more than anything that you can just go back, go back to feeling nothing. You try to convince yourself it's possible.<br />
<br />
But your efforts are wasted. Inside you can still hear that happy-clappy voice telling you to keep going. Telling you the pleasure is worth the pain. Telling you things will work out and to be strong.<br />
<br />
So the internal conflict leaves you bouncing between paralysis and mania. And you sit and wonder what you are supposed to do to make everything alright. You sit alone, like before, and try to focus. Because when you focus you are amazing. And you know you are going to make it, but you don't want to have to do it alone.<br />
<br />
But I guess life is full of ups and downs and it's just part of growing up to learn how to deal with both. However the number of midlife crisis' and such leads me to believe that an awful lot of people never figure it out.<br />
<br />
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the matter.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-18047847389492902762011-03-19T10:55:00.002+00:002011-07-24T13:09:55.637+01:00Positive thinkingI just spent half an hour talking to Jehovah Witnesses at my door, discussing how you should just enjoy everyday. How there is no way of knowing if there is a god or not, so you should just embrace life. Because if this is all there is, why waste it hoping that what happens next is better?<br />
<br />
I didn't change their opinion and they didn't change mine, but for 30 minutes I was me again. I was happy and positive.<br />
<br />
This week has been pretty shit, but I'm ok. Nothing is ever as bad as you think it is and there are always people who have it worse, so why be upset about anything?<br />
<br />
Last Friday (not yesterday) I graduated PMA. I now have a postgrad. Pow. The nine weeks leading up to that day where amazing, I learnt so much and grew up an awful lot. A concept that has always scared the shit out me, but I'm accepting it. I'm a better person for it. Everyday.<br />
<br />
We created a trade magazine called <i>Festival Business</i>, which is incredible. Check out our website (which will hopefully be better soon): <a href="http://www.festivalbusiness.co.uk/">www.festivalbusiness.co.uk</a><br />
<br />
Next step is finding a job on a magazine. I have been applying all week to different publications, trying to master the art of the cover letter. Journalism makes me so excitable and the thought of spending the rest of my life in the game is simply perfect. The PMA folk reckon we should all be employed in no time, so I'm not too worried. I'll just keep pushing forwards, 'cause determination is something I have heaps of.<br />
<br />
A couple of days ago I decided I needed an adventure, so I will be going on a Mount Kilimanjaro trek in February to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society. I chose to help them as my dad has Alzheimer's and I can see what it does. It makes you feel helpless, as if there is nothing you can do to make a difference. So I'm going to try, even if I'm just helping people in the future.<br />
<br />
I have yet to register for this adventure as I need £400, of which I have zero pounds. But I'll get it. Then I will raise at least £4k and get fit enough not to die. It's exciting. I've never been on a trek before, so I should probably have picked somewhere easier for my first attempt, but heck, I've never been one to do things by halves.<br />
<br />
With days filled with nothing but free time at the moment, I am keeping busy, but this should mean my blog should start getting more attention again. I've missed you!<br />
<br />
SPSuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-74629774329035901942011-01-06T14:27:00.002+00:002011-07-24T13:12:09.577+01:00Monday Is The Day That Everything ChangesThings change all the time, this is true. But once in a while there is something big that you just know is going to change your world and you just have to believe it'll be for the better. Now sometimes those little things that you don't take much notice of, massively affect your world. But for now, I'm focussing on something I believe will be huge.<br />
<br />
On Monday I start my postgraduate course in magazine journalism. It will be nine weeks of intense studying as I make my way to becoming a little closer to the person I most want to be. I will learn more than just how to write like a journalist. I will learn about myself and I will learn about a world I know very little about. For these nine weeks I will move back to London and not really get to see anyone, as I will be studying seven days a week. All day. Everyday. This means I won't see Kaity for nine weeks, which will be a challenge in itself.<br />
<br />
That's two very different, yet somehow connected challenges, running alongside eachother. The next challenge is to not let one damage the other. I suppose that would namely be, don't let missing Kaity stop me succeeding. Because that would be stupid. Because what is the point of working so hard and spending so much money, just to fail, because I'm love sick? Nothing. I know it is going to be hard. I have seen Kaity everyday for months and we are rarely ever apart, so this will be difficult. But I just have to keep myself occupied (which, by the sounds of the course, shouldn't be too difficult), until I get back. Then we have the rest of our lives to play =]<br />
<br />
I have been concerned that the others on my course would all be smarter than me. Better than me at shorthand, at writing, at social skills. Just better, generally. But after talking to some of them about shorthand today via email, I feel less worried. I think none of us are prepared for what we are about to embark on and that is kind of comforting. All I know is that I have to work my socks off and that this week I will get through as much of that shorthand book as I can, I'm on chapter five so far, which isn't so bad =]SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-25061889012861354852010-12-09T14:57:00.001+00:002011-07-24T13:13:38.606+01:00Interview With Tim Vigon Plus Catch UpHey guys,<br />
<br />
It seems every time I talk to you, it begins with an apology for being so infrequent. So let's just shuffle through that. When applying for my postgrad I had to write an interview. I recently posted the interview I wrote to my website, so you should all go and check it out and let me know your thoughts =]<br />
<br />
<a href="http://superpennie.com/2010/11/coalitions-timothy-vigon-gives-you-some-music-advice/">CLICK ME</a><br />
<br />
I currently have a full time job and have just moved into a new house, so until this morning did not have the internet. But I am back, kind of. I still have no time, but I am a writer. Writing is what I do. I haven't felt like <i>me</i> for a while now. No time to read, no time to write, no time. But on Monday I went to my parents house and picked up a Nietzsche book and started reading again. I've been planning in my head, making notes, writing. Not loads, but more than nothing. I'm slowly beginning to feel like me.<br />
<br />
It's strange how there is never enough time to tick all the boxes at once and something always has to give. My world should be perfect right now. Perfect girlfriend. Awesome job. Amazing house. And I'm almost content. I just want to make sure I don't lose myself. I imagine it is something everyone faces at various points through their lives. Maybe learning to find the balance is what it is all about. Finding the middle ground. I'm working on finding balance, as it goes I have just found a very sleepy Pennie.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-43148877529024536332010-10-26T10:59:00.002+01:002010-10-26T16:03:03.887+01:00Of Adventures and Such<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You may have noticed a decrease in love on my blog, focussing more on just letting you know about my website. I will try to find a middle ground, because you are very important to me. I enjoy our chats about the arts and philosophy and the pessimism and optimism you throw at me on discussions about existence and the world. This is something I do not want to lose.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">On that note, I do hope you have been visiting my website from time to time and keeping up with what I'm doing =] I have put in a 'Writings' section, which houses links to my work elsewhere on the internet. That has constantly been updating for the last couple of weeks, so there is lots of you to read.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There are also those stories, which will continue to be added. Though I have decided I will not included all the stories I write for the TubeTales section to the website. This is because my book will (hopefully) be happening by the end of the year and I want it to be a combination of short stories and poetry. If you were to buy the book, I'm sure you'd like to see something you've not seen before...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This evening I will be performing at </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=159740514055226"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">SpeechMotion</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> as the Feature act! You should try and make it (if you're in or near London). It's at the Horse and Groom on Curtain Road in Shoreditch and starts at 7. The night will be hosted by the lovely </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/CBroganperformance"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Catherine Brogan</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> and also performing will be </span><a href="http://www.sarezale.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Ernesto Sarezale</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Check out </span><a href="http://www.gaytimes.co.uk/Interact/Blogs-articleid-7518-sectionid-708.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">http://www.gaytimes.co.uk/Interact/Blogs-articleid-7518-sectionid-708.html</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> for a preview I wrote about it =]</span></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Also, you should, of course, pay </span><a href="http://superpennie.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">superpennie.com</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> some attention =p</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Friday is my last day of work experience with MPG, so I'm going to have to really find a job now. It has been ages since I graduated, it's getting silly. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I will be going to Hong Kong soon, so I will be sure to share with you my AsianAdventures either while I am there, or on my return =] I am very excited. I am very lucky to be going. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I sent suite101 a sample of my work and they accepted me to start writing for them. I don't know if this is a good thing or not... anyone have any idea? I can get some dollar (though I can't imagine it will be a lot) for writing for them and can use it to build my portfolio of work in the hopes of one day finding a job... but do real writers write for suite101 or am I going to cause myself more harm than good? I also have discovered hubpages, so the same question goes to that... </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh oh update: I've been accepted onto that Journalism course! </span></div>SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-3850455473027336422010-10-19T15:46:00.000+01:002010-10-19T15:46:04.747+01:00Of Heartbreak and Lost GirlsNew story up on <a href="http://superpennie.com/">superpennie.com</a> as part of the <a href="http://superpennie.com/tube-tales">TubeTales</a> series.<br />
<br />
Check it out =]<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisTEvb-Ve2NWFaiaoz8KipZDdvonlrp-dAZ-A2cTKjpvqlmxypyYHwV5T8UNPWouEGI0rkhOEq1MdyTRNtrBplH-ZfmVtob5o2spcdWCdaa5ojTTQW6u5hpH09TipGBCngNX07w5TsU7nQ/s1600/Head.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisTEvb-Ve2NWFaiaoz8KipZDdvonlrp-dAZ-A2cTKjpvqlmxypyYHwV5T8UNPWouEGI0rkhOEq1MdyTRNtrBplH-ZfmVtob5o2spcdWCdaa5ojTTQW6u5hpH09TipGBCngNX07w5TsU7nQ/s1600/Head.png" /></a></div><a href="http://superpennie.com/tube-tales/of-heartbreak-and-lost-girls/">Of Heartbreak and Lost Girls</a>SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-35075912208414480542010-10-12T21:28:00.002+01:002010-10-12T21:35:25.746+01:00First Days at MPGYesterday was my first day of work experience with Millivres Prowler Group. I woke up extra early to give me getting-lost time or the often necessary London's-moving-too-slowly time. As it turned out I was far too early and after a quick induction was handed over to the editor of <a href="http://divamag.co.uk/">Diva</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">, until the guys I'm working with got in. She too studied philosophy at university, so we were talking for a while, both having written about Marxism. She seemed very cool, (most people do in fact). I spent much of that time telling her that I was amazing, to the point where she told me if that was the case they'd have to scoop me right up. So here's hoping I impress.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I got put straight to work actually writing stuff which is amazing! The first of which can be found on the Pink Paper website, following the link below:</span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://news.pinkpaper.com/NewsStory/4049/12/10/2010/good-samaritan-film-scoops-25k-at-iris-festival.aspx">http://news.pinkpaper.com/NewsStory/4049/12/10/2010/good-samaritan-film-scoops-25k-at-iris-festival.aspx</a><br />
<br />
I have been working on things for Diva, Gay Times and Pink Paper, which is fantastic. Last time I was with them, in 2008, it was only Pink Paper stuff.<br />
<br />
Today I was given a news piece to write about concerning a man running for Senate in Kenya. If elected he would be the second elected gay politician in Africa. I wrote a short article on it, then (who I imagine is like) his right hand man emailed us saying he's rather it'd be more focused on the positive stuff. So I phoned him (in Africa) and got the Senate's phone number. I however got a 4 and a 5 the wrong way round and ended up phoning a woman who didn't speak English - three times. I soon corrected this and phoned the right person (thank you internet).<br />
<br />
I interviewed the Senate over the phone (for over 10 mins) then transcribed the whole thing and turned it into an article. This was all very scary, seeing as phones make me anxious, but I did it, and I think I did it well. It's all so exciting. I've been gleaming all day. This is most definitely where I want to be. At one point today I had three things to do (including sorting the interview stuff). I loved it. I loved being busy. I loved writing. I loved researching. I loved the environment.<br />
<br />
Hopefully the article I wrote today will be up on the website tomorrow =]<br />
<br />
Oooh the editor of the Pink Paper wrote me a letter today to take with me tomorrow to my interview (tomorrow is my interview for the post grad in magazine journalism), which is all very exciting. I wanted to take a clipping of the piece published in the paper copy of Pink Paper in 2008, but I can't find the paper in my box of stuff. I found my scrapbook, which has a clip of it stuck in, but it's too heavy to take the whole book for one page... and I wouldn't want them looking at the rest of it.<br />
<br />
I am feeling very positive. I hope tomorrow goes well.<br />
<br />
<br />
Be sure to go check out <a href="http://superpennie.com/">superpennie.com</a> - It needs to become part of your routine =]SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-66519874816747666202010-10-10T22:45:00.002+01:002010-10-27T21:43:57.400+01:00TUBE TALES: The Boy Who Always Ran.<b>Hey guys! I hope if you haven't already you will head over to </b><a href="http://superpennie.com/"><b>superpennie.com</b></a><b> and check out the first Tube Tale, Mr Panda.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Below is the second story in the series, <a href="http://superpennie.com/tube-tales/the-boy-who-always-ran/">The Boy Who Always Ran</a>. I figured I'd post it here too, just until everyone gets used to following the website, though I will always link to what's new over there anyway =]</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Enjoy!</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b><u>The Boy Who Always Ran</u></b><br />
<br />
I thought he was mine; just mine. That he was especially for me, existing only to keep me company. A true friend.<br />
<br />
Years later I discovered he would visit other kids too. I wasn't the only one! I felt cheated.<br />
<br />
Of course, the grown up in me was astonished by the fact that children who did not know each other could share an imaginary friend. But more importantly the child in me was excited to know her old friend must just be off entertaining other kids these days, after all it is a most important job.<br />
<br />
I must admit, the child in me was also a little heart broken at the thought that he left me, to play with another kid. It's like he was stolen from me. Like losing your best friend to some other kid and never even getting to understand why.<br />
<br />
I don't remember his name. Maybe I just never knew it. We didn't really talk much.<br />
<br />
He would always keep me company on those long journeys and entertained me with his tricks. He was the fastest runner I ever did see. I guess you could say he was like an extreme free runner on fast forward.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://superpennie.com/tube-tales/tube-tales-the-boy-who-always-ran/boy-who-always-ran/" rel="attachment wp-att-129" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-129" height="162" src="http://superpennie.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Boy-Who-Always-Ran-300x162.jpg" title="Boy Who Always Ran" width="300" /></a>For years he would be by my side.<br />
<br />
Every time I got into my parents car or onto a bus or train to go somewhere, he'd be there. Not 'there' exactly… he was always outside.<br />
<br />
Not because I didn't want him in the car (of course I did!), but because he didn't <em>need</em> to be in the car.<br />
<br />
Running along fences and walls on the road side, he's always be able to keep up. He loved to run and jump and swing from poles. Heck, I guess he still does.<br />
<br />
He'd run along the road, jumping up and over the cars. They'd never even care about him. Not one of them ever slowed down! To begin with I'd be worried he'd get hurt. I'd get angry at the drivers who'd constantly threaten his life.<br />
<br />
I slowly began to understand that it was him threatening his own, that it wasn't anyone else's responsibility to protect him other than his own. He helped me learn that we need to take responsibility for ourselves.<br />
<br />
That if you do something stupid, it's your own fault if something bad comes of it. It's not other peoples place to ever tell you what to do, just warn you if they see something you're blind to.<br />
<br />
I also came to realise that he was never going to get hurt. He was a pro! He was the best extreme free runner on fast forward in the business.<br />
<br />
He'd fling himself from lamppost to lamppost across the long stretch of motorway and run along those metal bars that are always placed along the edges - I never did learn their name.<br />
<br />
Sometimes he would turn up on a skateboard or wearing a pair of blades.<br />
<br />
He'd almost always wear a blue t-shirt. Or maybe it was black.<br />
<br />
He taught me to be brave. And that if you give yourself a chance to panic, you'll never jump, so to be prepared to take chances once and a while. I think I lost some of those lessons growing up. The day you get hurt you get too scared to jump. Before you ever get really hurt, it doesn't occur to you that it could happen. You think you're immortal. Untouchable. The older you get, the more you come to realise that you're not.<br />
<br />
I don't remember exactly the date he ran from me. I think it's been a while though. Sat on this train back to London I found myself staring out the window, thinking about him.<br />
<br />
I sure do hope he's still running and that he didn't get too old.<br />
<br />
And I sure do hope he's stilling teaching little kids all those lessons he's there to teach.<br />
<br />
Please, oh please, if anyone see's him, or knows his whereabouts, could you pass him on a message from an old friend? Tell him I miss him and long journeys haven't been the same.<br />
<br />
And tell him thank you for even running in the rain.<br />
<br />
<em>10.10.10</em>SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-87224679698262859882010-10-10T09:43:00.000+01:002010-10-10T09:43:30.598+01:00Tube TalesHey there guys! I've started what I hope will become a series called <a href="http://superpennie.com/tube-tales/">Tube Tales</a>. Sat on the Tube on Thursday I felt a little inspired. Seems I'm a bit of a people watcher. I have written what I suppose can be called a story or something called <a href="http://superpennie.com/tube-tales/tube-tales-mr-panda/">Mr Panda</a> which is the first part in the series. It has been posted up on my website for you all to enjoy. Please go and check it out! I'd love to hear your thoughts =]SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-34099293412832163622010-10-08T19:38:00.001+01:002010-10-08T19:40:55.537+01:00Moving Up, Along And BackwardsI have much updating to do here and probably not all that much time, so I'll just jump straight in. I have been working on my <a href="http://superpennie.com/">website</a> lately and am only deciding and discovering what it is I want exactly as I go along. In the spirit of going with the flow I will begin using it from now, posting stories and such and we can all just watch the site grow and develop together. Some of you may have already noticed the address for this blog has been redirected to become part of my site, going under the title <a href="http://blog.superpennie.com/">blog.superpennie.com</a>. I will continue to use this but will also be using <a href="http://superpennie.com/">superpennie.com</a> too. Everything I post there will have either a copy posted up here with a link or just a summary with a link for you all to see.<br />
<br />
Hopefully this will mean more content from me. I already have a few ideas in the works. The first of which I wrote on the tube yesterday and which I will hopefully get online over the next couple of days =]<br />
<br />
In other news, I performed at The Great Bardic Alliance in aid of National Poetry Day last night. The Guardian published an article discussing modern poetry and mentioned the night, which you can all read and comment on <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/oct/02/national-poetry-day-old">here</a>. To begin with I was a little annoyed with the author, but on further consideration, we were given free advertisement in a national newspaper, so that's a win. It was an awesome night and I got to see many acts I have never seen before. I was there representing <a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=97470782383&ref=ts">SpeechMotion </a><br />
<br />
I have a bit of footage and will hopefully be getting a video or two of me too, so I will be sharing those with you shortly.<br />
<br />
Remember the work experience I had to cancel when I tore the ligaments in my ankle a while back? Well, I have managed to rearrange it and I will be starting on Monday! This is very exciting, but it does mean I will have no money and have to travel around London everyday without a student Oyster card... I've not worked out how that will happen yet.<br />
<br />
And finally, I have an interview for my post grad in magazine journalism on Wednesday. I don't want to say anymore about it, partly because I don't want to jinx anything and partly because I don't want to get too excited, but you all have to wish me luck and send me good energy and do whatever other ritualistic things you do, if any, in these situations. It would be much appreciated, though admittedly not completely understood. But I have come to accept that I will never truly understand very much and those who say that they do are either pretending or mistaken.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-7402840829956471492010-09-21T11:57:00.000+01:002010-09-21T11:57:50.100+01:00Telling StoriesAfter being somewhat inspired by the <a href="http://dutch-courage2.blogspot.com/">new blog</a> of a university friend of mine, I decided sharing some stories from my past with you could be quite interesting. Having a retrospective view of the events allows for a different understand of how and why things happened, whilst offering you, my trusty army of followers, an insight into the life and times of SuperPennie, before she claimed her title.<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, lived a dorky little girl called Pennie Varvarides. She was the youngest of three, born nine and a half years after number two, her elder sister Helen. You may be wondering why there was such a massive gap... no? Well, I'm going to explain this to you anyway...<br />
<br />
After my mother had my sister, she had one of those coil things put in, so she couldn't have any more kids for a while. They couldn't really afford another one and they had far too much work to do as it was. Unfortunately something went wrong and the coil got infected, so it had to be removed. The dr's told my mother she wouldn't be able to have any more children. She just wanted to put it off for a bit, until they were in a better place, but it looks like the dr's just took with them any hopes for another child, ever, even if they were ready and really wanted one. So eventually they stopped even thinking about it (I don't actually know if that's true, I'm just guessing... but I'm the storyteller... so I'm allowed =p), until one day my mother started going through those familiar signs of pregnancy.... that's right... it was me!<br />
<br />
My parents and the dr's were all worried that there would be something wrong with me and this is how I got my name. In the Greek Orthadox religion, by naming your baby after a saint you are promising them your child's soul in exchange for protection... or maybe that's just the deal my mum had with Mary. You see Pennie is short for Panayiota, which in Greek is the name taken from the word Παναγια (bah-nah-yee-ah) referring to the mother of Jesus; Mary.<br />
<br />
My sister always told me she asked Santa for a little sister and that he gave her me... I was born in March though, so just always thought Santa was tardy with his deliveries that year or something.<br />
My brother always told me he had asked for a little brother and to compromise, rather than sending two new babies, I was a tomboy. This sounded logical to me... I just always assume I was like a boy, just without boy bits. Made perfect sense... to a 5 year old.<br />
<br />
Being considerably younger than my brother and sister (as well as all the cousins) I got used to playing on my own. So much so, I kind of preferred it. Now days, I'm still pretty much the same, really enjoying any time I have to just hang out with myself and not have to talk or worry about whether my actions are fitting into those social norms everyone tries so hard to fit into....<br />
Actually, to be honest, I never make that much effort in trying to be sociable and follow suit. I just have been lucky enough to find other people who are equally bonkers or geeky to bide my time with.<br />
<br />
In playing by myself, I would often lay claim to empty notebooks that my parents had yet to start on and pens I found lying around. I'd write my own stories, of love and adventure and even put them into chapters. I'd pretend I had my own magazine or newspaper and interview adults around my parents factory if I'd been taken with them on days there wasn't anyone to babysit me. I'd write my own songs and dance around the house singing to myself. I was always writing. If I wasn't writing, I'd be making up games where I'd be keeping scores... where I'd still be writing, just stretching my arithmetic skills.<br />
<br />
It didn't occur to me that I was always supposed to be a writer until fairly recently though, as strange as that is. I had wanted to be a scientist and invent things from as young as I can remember up until the age of 7, when I switched to wanting to be a lawyer for some reason. I imagine this thought was carefully planted in me from an external source, but I have no idea. When deciding on universities I went to visit King's College London on the law open day. I then went to a few other law open days. I realised it was most definitely something I never in a million years ever wanted to do. But I did however fall in love with King's and had my heart set on studying something there.<br />
<br />
I picked up the prospectus and flicked to the humanities section, as writing and reading have always been my strong suit. Humanities subjects are the ones I'm best at. Had a flick through, took in mind the ALevel grades I thought I could get and picked a course out of those choices. It came down to philosophy and English lit, but as I'd never done philosophy before, it seemed like an amazing idea and I went with it.<br />
<br />
This all kind of makes it sound a little planned out and thoughtful, but in reality this process took about 5 minutes. I can be fairly impulsive sometimes, but I find it normally works out ok. Part of me just kind of knew that was the right decision and there wasn't anything else I should be doing.<br />
<br />
I wrote the most amazing personal statement, with help from a friend of mine from Taekwon Do who was currently doing her masters at King's in English. On seeing my personal statement my head of sixth form got really excited and came to speak to me. He had studies Maths and Philosophy at university and wanted to share in a moment with me. I had no idea about any philosophy whatsoever, apart from the first book of Plato's Republic which I had read while writing my personal statement for some inspiration and to be able to say I read it.<br />
<br />
He introduced me to Sartre. He lent me Nausea and insisted I read it. I was hooked. By the time I finished reading it I was in love. In love with Sartre. In love with philosophy. And in love with words. The book made me feel so much, so much more than a book had ever made me feel before. I knew then that I had to be a writer. To one day create something that can make somebody feel even half as much as I felt reading Sartre.<br />
<br />
One day, I'll write something that amazing. But I'm still just a baby in the grand scheme of things I guess, just finding my footing in the world. So I'm not in a hurry. When something comes to me, I'll just go with it.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-33294337242805341472010-09-19T00:46:00.002+01:002010-09-19T00:48:59.618+01:00Job Hunt StrategiesIt seems in this day and age, finding a job is not an easy venture. For every available position there seem to be scores of applicants to compete against, meaning standing out from the crowd is a major factor. Finding your first real job is thus painfully difficult for most, after all there are so many people with years of experience, why pick up a graduate?<br />
<br />
After a couple of months of sending out CV's and applications I am taking on a more aggressive approach. I'm collecting the contact details for all the jobs I'm applying to, and in a few days I will phone them and remind them of my sheer awesomeness in the hopes of encouraging them to hire me. In finding a job, you need to get noticed and a phone call is more noticeable than an email, which can be lost in a packed out inbox never to be given a second thought. A couple of phone calls may be what it takes to get someone's attention.<br />
<br />
Earlier tonight I found a fantastic job giving me the foot in the door I am in such desperate search for. I wrote the perfect cover letter and clicked apply.... only to be faced with the guardian website/the internet crashing on me. It was lost. I couldn't even find the page again anywhere. I had written the contacts name down already, but there was no other contact information available... thanks to the powers of the internet and some good Googling skills I found not only his email address but his phone number. I sent him a personalised email and my CV in the hopes of a (positive) response. And I plan to make use of his phone number.<br />
<br />
I must admit, I hate talking on the phone, but if I get brushed off I will be trying again. You have to be persistent to get anywhere and in a world where your voice blends into the background, you just need to learn to make more noise. Wish me luck in this venture people. And if anyone has any UK media/publishing contacts they wish to share with me, I will be more than grateful.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-8805833474627088302010-09-13T00:45:00.000+01:002010-09-13T00:45:26.478+01:00It's All About The Buzz: Hearts Under FireIt's always about the buzz; the attention you can get in the area you live and breath. And that is exactly what these guys need!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/heartsunderfire?ref=ts">Hearts Under Fire</a> are a fantastic band who need your help! I have been in love with these guys for years, ever since I first heard their acoustic demo of Spitting Glass up on their <a href="http://www.myspace.com/heartsunderfire">Myspace</a>. Since then they have been making swift steps to stardom and I even got the chance to see them play Download this year! But they need to create a buzz to win a competition, which will give them the chance to record a new album with RedBull Bedroom Jam as well as a support slot on the Kids In Glass Houses Tour.<br />
<br />
All you have to do is Tweet "@rb_bj @heartsunderfire #huftowin"<br />
Or go to their Myspace and listen to a track or two and leave a comment.<br />
Or go to <a href="http://redbullbedroomjam.com/band/videos/its-not-me-its-you">RedBull Bedroom Jam</a> and watch their video (which is pretty damn awesome =p ) and leave a comment.<br />
<br />
It measures how much hype a band is getting. There isn't long left, so let's give this a final push =]<br />
<br />
Currently in first place is a band called You And What Army, who also performed at Download this year. Personally I felt they had really bad attitude and were rude to the fans. The lead singer insulted playing Download making out as though he were too big for it. For this reason, I don't think they deserve to win (or need to apparently =p)<br />
<br />
So if you do one thing today, make it listening to <a href="http://myspace.com/heartsunderfire">Hearts Under Fire</a> or checking out their <a href="http://redbullbedroomjam.com/band/videos/its-not-me-its-you">video</a>.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-52152598185637019492010-09-12T20:12:00.000+01:002010-09-12T20:12:40.338+01:00Eye's Wide ShutThough there has been much of a transformation in my outlook and behaviour this year, I have far from reached my goal. My goal being the place I would most like to be of course. I still find myself falling into the same traps and missing the same sign posts I've failed to avoid for a while. But the other day offered me a wake up call. From another one of my own mistakes I was able to truly see why I need to move forward and let go of certain chains that have held me down for so long.<br />
<br />
But how? How does one walk away from their comfort zone and step out into the real world? To start taking responsibility and taking all ones chances rather than letting opportunities fly by?<br />
<br />
I imagine to one extent or another, everyone has been in a similar situation. Perhaps you are so used to a person you can't recognise their actions as being negative or inappropriate; perhaps you are so frightened of the world you are quick to retreat back into yourself and your world of fantasy. There are a million different scenarios you could find yourself in, that leave you lost or broken.<br />
<br />
I can't pretend to be able to help anyone achieve anything. I'm still young and don't know much. I can't imagine I'll ever know much, perhaps just learn how best to deal with a lack of true knowledge. Or how best to deal with the superficial knowledge we are accustomed to. But this isn't a philosophical blog about the nature of knowledge and our ability to possess it... I'm sure many of you already know where I more or less stand on the matter. This is about a community helping each other.<br />
<br />
I like to think that my regular followers can come together through their comments to share some advice with one another. I have come to realise the only way to save yourself from a bad situation, is to find something to hold onto that makes you want to stay clear of the darkness. But finding something to hold onto isn't enough. You can't climb from the darkness for someone or something else, because if that thing or person were to ever disappear you would fall straight back down. You need to do it for you. You need to truly want to see the light and have that happy fuzzy feeling when you wake up. You have to want your health. You have to want to achieve something. Having something to aim for makes it easier; set's your focus.<br />
<br />
I would love to hear back from you lot! How do you pick yourselves up when you're down? How do you keep yourselves from falling back?SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-36283307402915177822010-09-10T12:00:00.008+01:002011-02-06T12:14:11.654+00:00When Dreams Blend With RealityYou know those dreams that feel so real, you wake up thinking they happened? Even when you know they didn't really happen and that you were only dreaming, they've still manage to get hold your your emotions and can determine how the rest of your days go. In a discussion with a friend of mine the other day, she was telling me she woke up very cross with her girlfriend, 'cause in her dream she had been cheating on her (or maybe they broke up, I don't remember the specifics on this one).<br />
<br />
<br />
These dreams can take you by the throat and halt your breathing, or make you anxious. They can stun you into a daze, where you are completely and utterly confused. And they can jolt you into consciousness with tears or fear embedded. Sometimes you may not even remember what it was you dreamed about or think perhaps you didn't have a dream at all, yet somehow you still awaken somewhat shaken.<br />
<br />
Recently I had a dream that my father was trying to kill me and chasing me around the area we live in with this metal rod type weapon. The only way to save myself was to kill him. I was terrified and didn't want to hurt him, but I had no choice; he'd gone mad. So I found my own metal rod thing and stabbed him in the chest with it. I woke up in tears. The next time I went to my parents house I told him all about it and he laughed at me and told me to give him a cuddle. He said this old saying in Greek, which pretty much translates to 'stupid dreams come to stupid people'. I felt a lot better at this point. When I walked into the house I just felt guilty. Guilt that I killed my own dad in cold blood... Now obviously I know that that was a dream and that he is still here and he is able to hug me... but it changes nothing. I still felt it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>You know when dreams come back to you, hours later, or sometimes even days? Well, I had one of those moments. The other day I was acting all strange and dopey when I woke up, more so than usual. My eyes were leaking but I didn't feel like I had a reason to cry, I was quiet and had trouble focusing and just generally not ok. I just thought I was still tired or something. Maybe I was exhausted after a night of dreams and no real sleep.<br />
<br />
Isn't it strange how if you go to bed and dream all night you wake up completely worn out? It's like the recuperative nap was a complete waste of time. <br />
<br />
As my dream from the other night came back to me, I realised why I must have been acting so bizarre. It was that guilt again. Not the same as the killing-my-father-in-cold-blood kinda guilt, but a guilt nonetheless. Guilt for something that didn't even happen.<br />
<br />
Who else has the same sort of strong connection to their dreams? I'd love to know some of your stories of how your dream affected your mornings, or even your whole day!<br />
Why do you think we can be made to feel so many things by something we know to be separate from our reality? Sometimes, dreams are so realistic, you find yourself confusing them with memories. Ticking things off a to-do list you never did and catching up with friends you never phoned. Have you ever continued a conversation you'd been thinking about all day, only to discover the conversation never happened and the person has no idea what you are talking about?<br />
<br />
Imagine the consequences of particular dreams that are so realistic they blend into your reality so completely, it has you fooled for a substantial period of time. Imagine a scenario where you relived a real time event, but played it out a little different. Maybe you had an argument with someone the other day and you were still very cross about it, but in your dream instead of walking away you got into a physical fight. Or the person you were arguing with attacked a love one in your dream world... what do you think the chances of you wanting to deck the person next time you see them, either because you think they got aggressive, or because you were simply overcome by an unexplainable urge and strong emotions egging you on?<br />
<br />
Share you thoughts =] I always love hearing back from you lot!SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-41368965267407669652010-09-09T09:30:00.001+01:002010-09-09T09:30:00.268+01:00New LookJust a quicky to ask you all what you think of the new layout? The lovely <a href="http://gregorygaige.blogspot.com/">GregoryGaige</a> spent the evening (morning) designing and implementing SuperPennie's facelift. He is a bit amazing =]<br />
<br />
As I'm doing the update thing, I finally finished reading 1984. I know, it took me ages! I'm a slow reader... well not exactly. I read loads, fairly quickly, then wear myself out and only read tiny bits in several intervals until I get all excited about it and read loads in one go again. I have a short attention span!<br />
<br />
I started reading Aldous Huxley's <i>Brave New World </i>yesterday, on recommendation from a man that frequents our pub. He lent it to me ages ago, but as it took me so long to get through 1984 I have only just got round to it. I will try my best to read this faster. <br />
<br />
I was left a little empty after 1984. I will now permit myself to watch the movie and compare. I didn't want to watch it first. Though I am not looking forward to the bit with the rats.SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5300926740456263453.post-29302657199657763912010-09-06T14:48:00.000+01:002010-09-06T14:48:49.507+01:00Spotting The Light In The DarknessFor those of you who have been by my side since my early days of blogging, you have most likely noticed a shift in perspective. Some followers may have since stopped reading, having felt the darker tones were what they required of me, rather than the sparks of light that sometimes weave into my consciousness. To those, I apologise. Not for letting you down, but for leaving you behind. <div><br />
</div><div>Constant negativity and pessimism may seem 'realistic' but does nothing for you. It leaves you hollow and bitter. This is from first hand experience, perhaps it suits others better, but I for one love it when I can hold on to the good. Sometimes I pretend to see the good, as many of you know, because it's what those around you want. It's hard work being the one having to put up with the negative person who wants so much but expects so little, to the point where they stop wanting. I've been on both ends of the stick, so I can understand both sides. It takes a lot out of a person if you're always down, and you can say it isn't your fault that you're down, the world just hates you, but I've seen people who have been through more than I could have imagined still shining bright. These people are doing more than just holding on and being strong, they are living. They are taking the world by the horns and riding it all the way to the end. These people inspire me. </div><div><br />
</div><div>On Saturday I woke up in a very bad mood. I feel like if I tell you why I'm over disclosing, but perhaps we've come too far not to. I woke up in pain, horrible, stomach crunching pain. It seems by body is confused about the natural menstrual cycle and is on repeat, every two weeks. To anyone who has ever experienced a bad period, I'm sure you can empathise. I then discovered numerous texts and missed calls from my mother, who has locked herself out, along with my father and our dog. I'm not entirely sure how all of them got locked out or how they managed to close both the inner and the outer door... but I am the only other person with a key. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Instead of getting a locksmith (who would be there in 30 mins) they wanted me to come and let them in. You may be thinking, that's hardly a big deal Pennie... but I am in Swindon and they live in London. So it would take me 3 hours to get there at least, especially as I just rolled out of bed! </div><div><br />
</div><div>Has anyone travelled London on a weekend? It's not fun, I assure you! Almost every tube line had part closures or delays meaning we didn't get to their house until around 4pm (we woke up at 11.45 ish). </div><div><br />
</div><div>You can imagine my dismay at this request. I was not happy. </div><div><br />
</div><div>But now, the light...</div><div><br />
</div><div>Saturday was my best friends 22nd birthday and I couldn't afford to get to London to see her. The situation with my parents meant, they would give me the money for the train thus enabling me to see my friend. We were able to surprise her by turning up at her door unannounced when she finished work. We also spent the day baking her a magnificent birthday cake until we met up with everyone in the pub for a birthday drink. </div><div><br />
</div><div>As I wasn't expecting to go I sent her a card on Friday - recorded delivery - so she could open it in the morning. It didn't turn up on time. I also sent her a present from a website online, paying for next day delivery. Not only did this not turn up Saturday morning, but I was charged twice, because their website malfunctioned. I was sent an email today saying it's been dispatched, but I emailed them on Friday demanding they do not charge me twice. I was ignored. I may have to phone them. I just hope she would have got it today at least. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Amongst my really bad day I was given the opportunity to see my friend. By focusing on that part it helped me ignore the bad mood I was in and enjoy the day. I suppose it's a lesson for everyone... search out the good bits, 'cause it'll help you through the bad. </div>SuperPenniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280246001916715281noreply@blogger.com4