The unfortunate case of Texas Chainsaw 3D

When I first saw a poster advertising Texas Chainsaw 3D on a bus I got quite excited. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I expected this film to be fantastic. I was clearly let down. In fact, the more I think about it, the more disappointed I become.

John Luessenhop's addition to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise starts where the 1974 original left off, literally, with the final girl from the first film making a break for it and the cops responding to the call from the truck driver who found her. Luessenhop flashes through those original murders, speeding you to date, just in time to watch a mob burn down Leatherface's family house.

The film centres on a baby who is kidnapped from the homicidal cannibal family. Snap to the present and this baby is played by 26-year-old Alexandra Daddario, who did fine – all things considered. Though I beg you all to think about the maths for a moment; surely the baby should be older. The acting was fine and she did the sexy, slightly crazy thing fine; but I wasn't blown away. In fact, I spent much of the film wondering why whoever was in charge of wardrobe decided she shouldn't wear a bra. I also didn't understand why her midriff had to be on show throughout the whole film; don't get me wrong, it was a lovely stomach, but I want more from a main character than sexy-girl-screaming and sexy-girl-crazy. I actually want a whole lot more from a film than this film even tried to offer.

The 3D itself was a total let down and the movie moved so slow there wasn't a scare in sight. To add to the offences, the only thing I felt was sympathy for Leatherface. I don't want to feel sorry for the bad guy; I want to be screaming for someone to finish him! Instead, I found myself rooting for him, hoping he'd be ok.

The dialogue throughout was basically pointless at almost all sections of the film, and dragged slowly between exchanges. Leatherface, who is known as Jed instead of Babba, seems to have an unlimited supply of chainsaws lying around the house. There is a scene where two of the characters are running away from him and go to all the effort of locking the wooden door with a wooden log. The whole time you're thinking 'he's holding a chainsaw, idiot'. Then he cuts through it. Obviously.

Overall it's efforts were laughable. As a horror movie it was a total fail, but with a fair few lols along the way to try and make up for it. The highlight being near the close of play, involving a meat factory. No scares, patchy storyline, limited tension and bad 3D. Definitely not worth the ridiculous cost of a cinema ticket; made me reminisce about the days it only cost £2.50 to see a film at Hollywood Green.

I'm genuinely a little concerned for the horror movie genre. I can't remember the last time I saw a decent one.

Human Leather

I came across a website selling products made from human skin thanks to the wonders of Facebook. Initially you think it has to be a joke, right? People aren't walking around wearing dead people, are they? But there are an elite few "who have everything they could possibly desire" and this company has snapped up their need to stand out and show off their wealth. They've given them something to spend their money on that very few people will have. Products sourced from the skin other people.

You can get your hands on a Human Leather Wallet from €9,000 (USD$14,000 approx) or if you're really splashing out, why not grab a pair of shoes from €18,000 (USD$27,000 approx)? Roll up, roll up, fresh out the morgue...

Obviously my initial response to this is "gross! What's wrong with people?" How is it someone has so much money that they don't know what to do with that they're willing to walk around in some dead guys back? 

Then I began to wonder how they got hold of the dead people to use their skin in the first place, so I had a nose around the website. Apparently people "bequeathed their skin" to the company before they died. The families of the "donors" are apparently rewarded very handsomely, which I imagine means a big pay off. Surely something like this opens doors to killing off sick or unwanted family members for the "reward". It's like the whole organ donor argument as to whether they should be sold rather than donated. If people need money, what's stopping them from killing off people to sell their skin or heart or lungs?

But then there's the other side... poor people can make money out of their dead relatives. If they're dying anyway, it's not hurting anyone to take money from the very strange rich people wanting to turn them into belts and shoes... though it is somewhat disrespectful. Just like, if someone has good organs and their family has no money, you may as well sell them to save a few peoples lives as well as your families when you die. Surely we'd get a whole lot more organ donations if they were getting something out of it. People find the idea of their body being chopped up and spread between the bodies of other people creepy, but if they could help their families out they'd probably be more willing to save a few lives. Most of the time nobody cares about helping anyone if they can't get anything out of it. 

For the record, I'm pretty sure I'm an organ donor and I'm not expecting monies out of it. 

Of course, lives are saved through organ donation whereas all that's happening with skin donations is rich people get to feel like they're some sort of elite. Next step is stuffed human heads above the mantle piece in between the deer heads... 

But why is wearing a person so different from wearing any other animal? What is it about human leather that makes us go "ew"? I imagine it's the same sort of notion as cannibalism. It's turning on one's own kind. It's this bright light illuminating the fact that nobody is safe. When someone is sat at a table eating a chicken, nobody thinks anything of it, because it's a chicken. But if they were eating your uncle that would be a different story. We have connections to other people. I imagine if someone was eating you dog you'd be pretty upset too. It's the emotional connections we have with things that stops us from thinking it's ok. From being able to stand objectively and say, it's just food and I need to eat. Or it's just shoes and I wanna protect my feet. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Both on human product as well as organ donation.