Just My Luck

Saturday was Kaity's Mad Hatter's Tea Party. It was the most amazing party I have ever been to in my life. There was a piñata, bubbles, Twister, Jenga, sword fights, fancy dress, party hats, edible tea cups, a trampoline, poi, frisbee, some other ball type toy thing to throw, vodka jelly, bowls and Ring of Fire around a bon fire. As well as lots of booze. What more could anyone possibly ask for from a party?

How about a cake?

Anna spent ages making THE most amazing cake ever. I wish I had taken a picture from a different angle so you could see just how great this cake was. 

At the end of the night some friends were leaving and after saying goodbye we remembered they had the only pack of Rizla. I was sent on a mission to catch up with them and ask for it before they left, so off I went, running down the garden. 

It was dark and I couldn't really see.

I've only been to Anna's house a couple of times so I'm not exactly familiar with the place. There was a couple of steps at the end of the garden that I hadn't thought about and went flying to the ground. I lay there for a moment to gain my composure then attempted standing up to continue on my mission. I'm not a quitter and figured a bit of pain shouldn't stop me from doing anything...

How wrong I was...

Standing up most definitely was not happening. I lay there a little longer then started thinking about how stupid I had been. You see, about 5 minutes earlier when the friends I was chasing were leaving, one of them had in fact tripped down the step that had just taken me out. I was there. I watched her do it. And I laughed.

I only laughed because she was ok. If she was hurt it would have obviously been different. But there I was...

When I was sure I could gather myself, I stood up and hobbled to the living room. I lay down on the sofa and just rested for a bit. Thought about taking a nap to be honest... naps and water solve everything!

15 minutes later K and a couple of her friends appeared wondering where I'd disappeared off to. Then saw my ankle. It was gross.

Before letting them put an ice pack on it I felt the need to pause and take a picture. I hope you appreciate it!

I was lucky enough to be around awesome people, so I was well looked after. K's parents took me to the hospital the next day, so I got out of tidying... plus side?
It's a torn ligament, so if I keep off it for the week it should hopefully be ok. Just need to remember to not walk. This is something I have discovered is really hard work. I realised how much I hate people having to do things for me, it makes me feel so guilty! I hate feeling like a burden.

I was sat in the hospital with K's parents, in a wheel chair and was staring at my ankle. I was sure it wasn't broken, but nobody else was. The nurse sent me for an xray and whilst in the waiting room I started thinking about how funny it looked and how funny it would be if I had broken my ankle on K's 21st birthday. Now that is a lasting memory... I burst out laughing.
For ages.
In a silent room.
I just couldn't stop myself.

I've realised how much I take my body for granted. I don't appreciate how easy it is to be able to walk around and get yourself a drink when you get thirsty. I'm just going to be limping around for a week or two, this is some peoples life.

As you know, this week is the first week of work experience... I am however incapable of doing very much. I am gutted that I have to postpone it for a week as I have been so excited about it but on the bright side, I get an extra few days with K. I was supposed to be heading back to London for a month so we wouldn't be able to see as much of each other, but I couldn't get myself back home like this.

Wednesday is graduation so tonight we are heading back together so I have someone to help me. After graduation I will rest up the best I can all week to make sure Monday morning I can make my way to the office! It also means, I get a few days at home being looked after by my mum and catching up on things I could be doing. I'll just have to make sure I am on the ball when I get to the office on Monday to make up for being so clumsy. You always want to come across as amazing in these situations and make a good impression, I am worried that this ankle thing may damage that a little bit. Hopefully when they see how excited I am about writing and working with them, it'll give me bonus points to make up for not being able to walk.

Everything will be fine. And when I can walk again I'm going to make use of those legs of mine and be a little less lazy. She says...

I'm really lucky it wasn't worse and I'm really lucky it was at the end of the night. I got to spend the whole day playing! Well, a lot of the day was in the kitchen tidying up but I took on the job with pride. I imagine Anna and K spend just as much time if not more doing the same. If I ever make it as a writer I'll be sure to hire cleaners and caterers for K's party.... I'll just throw her one for shits and giggles. It can be an unbirthday party =p
I've become that person that always looks on the bright side. When did that happen? Blame K.

Video: Emperors New Clothes

Hey hey,

I got around to recording a poem, finally! So here, check it out =]




I have found out my exam timetable now too! Scary stuff! But I will be all wrapped up by the 2nd of June! Then that's it. Forever. Oh God.

Poem: The Emperor's New Clothes

MC Angel asked me to rewrite a fairytale as part of this months Lyrical Challenge, so here's my piece.


The Emperor’s New Clothes

Pride is one of those things
That springs up to clip your wings
Or pull those strings that help with progress.
Pride will have you guessing
Before ever expressing a need for help
Or letting on that you’re lost.
Pride comes at a cost you’re never willing
To give into.
So one day, once upon a time
In a land far, far away
Or maybe just next door
There’s an Emperor who cares for nothing
But his bling. His style, his smile, his robes
Probe inquiry
And he loves the attention.
He loves it when you mention him
Or look at him with awe
He’d have a castle made of straw
If you’d adore him a little more.
So he hires two new weavers
Who promise him a suit
The finest ever made or worn
And never touched by man before.
It’s made from lace
Engraved with gold
And takes it’s place as they unfold
It’s made from special fabric
Designed to trick the kingdoms fools
See to them the suit’s invisible!
Too proud to admit that he can’t see shit
The Emperor dons his new attire
And speaks about its beauty
About its colours and design
As he swirls the courtroom naked
And he marches all the time
So the moral of the tale kids
Is to let go of any pride
Which leads to sheep mentality.
Somewhere after once upon a time
But before the happy after
Came a little boy
Too innocent to sense the rules,
Laughed.
He laughed and pointed
Soon disjointed, the crowd began to slack
And they all laughed and they all pointed
At the Emperors naked crack.





It was going to be based on The Red Shoes, but I couldn't write anything decent. So I picked a different story.

The other challengers of the night, Raymond Artbous who did Rumplestiltskin and  Sabrina Mafouz who did Little Red Riding hood were awesome! MC Angel did a take on Cinderella which was also amazing. Over all a fantastic evening and I think any of you lot in London should totally come next month!

February's FairyTale

Ok. So I'm writing this blog post but I'm yet to decide if it is suitable for posting (RE: some old posts to see why...). But I'm going to tell you a story anyway, because I think it's funny (and kind of a little cute) and I don't think it'll be as embarrassing to tell you now as it would have been last week. Maybe.

So for the last year I have been avoiding women after concluding they are all nut cases and I have to study. I choose books over girls, does that make me a geek? Well, probably.

I have been perfectly happy under my single banner and probably the least stressed out I have been since I started dating people at all. My darling best friend thought she would pull me out of said happiness and throw me towards whatever the opposite of peace and serenity is. Chaos, maybe?

I get a phone call from her telling me she has found me a girl and that she isn't crazy and that I have to talk to her. She was very excited about all of this as I remained completely against the idea. Whilst this was going on, my best mates girlfriend was in the same room on the phone to the girl in question and there is a lot of screaming going on (I do actually hate girls that scream, throwing that out there). Turns out this girl has been on the phone to my mates girlfriend complaining about crazy lesbians and wondering if there are any that aren't crazy. This was the moment my mate chimes in proclaiming that she knows one! One! Next came my phone call.

My mate was demanding I talk to the girl, as I laughed it off and refused, perfectly content with my life as it is. She talks me into looking at her on Facebook, which I do. I agree that she is pretty but I still do not care and I continue to refuse. I'm soon talked into messaging the girl. It's a short (abrupt) message pretty much saying I was told to say hello.

And so it began.

What's funny is how the girl knew my mates girlfriend. But that's not my story to tell, so you'll have to use your imaginations. But I will tell you that I soon found out that neither my friend nor her girlfriend had ever actually met this girl in person before. How ridiculous is that?

So we talk lots and meet up and she makes me forget that I hate women a little bit. I've never been in this situation before (having a girl thrown at me that is) and it was all a little strange, but turns out she is actually a bit lovely. She's a Cancer and as much as I don't want to believe in all that astrology rubbish it seems to be right about the fact that I get on well with Cancers. Maybe it's just all in my head...

She actually came to a poetry night, which is really fucking cool (putting up with my poetry obviously helps pick up points). I suddenly realise the further into this story I go the less it seems like a good idea for me to share it with you all... Especially as I know she's going to read this and laugh at me as it is!


After lots of me being awkward and being told to man up this section of the story does indeed have a happy ending. I say this section, because fairytales only ever tell you up to the part where the princess gets her prince and they live happily ever after, but you never get told what that happily ever after entails... I imagine lots of formalities and fake conversations with people at balls you don't really want to go to.

I can only presume mine will not fit into this category as formalities and balls are not actually things I come across very often (being that I'm not a princess, I'm more like PeterPan). But if anyone wants to throw me a ball, I have a green princess dress somewhere just waiting for an excuse.

I say that, but the likelihood of me ever building up the courage to wear the pretty princess dress out is so very low. And I don't even know if it fits anymore after spending 2 years of my life getting fat (thank you university). Now I'm just going off on a tangent a bit, but you have to be used to that by now! I mean come on, this has to be like blog post 60 or something, right?

PressRelease: SpeechMotion (Feb)

February 23^rd 2010

Immediate Release

Press Contact: speechmotion@makingtheatrework.com

    

Presents...

A Monthly Platform for Performance & Shorts in Shoreditch

            

February may be associated with Love, but if you are sick of all the fake flowers and cheap teddy bear’s, come along to SpeechMotion on February 23^rd to see where love will get you if you’re not careful!

As always, we have a great line up which includes some of the best talent from around Europe.

Resident Poet, SuperPennie, will warm up the mic and get the crowd feeling super inside with her latest rhymes. The London born poet claims that, ‘Growing up is bad for your health. In fact it is one of the biggest causes of death...’ (Obviously another Peter Pan complex) http://www.myspace.com/superpennie

The line up continues with London based Guest Poet, Jade Anouka, who’s feature spots include:  Farrago, Apples&Snakes, TriForce Promotions, I Think I'm Here Darling and UK Poetry Podcast.. Jade has also performed at the Sidewalk Cafe and The Bowery in New York. www.myspace.com/anoukapoetry 

  

Guest Film, ‘Think of Me Then Die,’ by French Filmmaker Sullivan Corredo, is about the way Nicolas Sarkozy rules France. However, watching it you would not necessary know that because Corredo is one of the best young surreal filmmakers out there, which means there are different interpretations to his work, some people love him, (speechmotion) some people don’t get him, but no one can deny his unpredictability. Corredo states, “It was not easy to fit the cultural view of the president, but working hard on it, I can affirm that I'm part of what the French government does at its best”. Vive la France!

As we are on the subject of politics has anyone ever lied...to a loved one?  Of course you have! “Little Secrets” is our Featured Film, by our favourite German Filmmaker, Sascha Zimmermann.  What a wonderful mix of dark humour and witty dialogue.

We sing the night out with our Featured Performer, Blanche Visarro - "A modern Chanteuse" - brought to the future from 1920's silent films, she will tell the story of love in trouble. With the piano at her finger tips and her magical voice in your ear, you will go home and cry yourself to sleep.  So moving!

Listing Information:

SpeechMotion promotes the work of original storymakers and offers a platform where a unique mix of performance and film co-exists between emerging and established artists.

Every last Tuesday of the month performers/filmmakers get in FREE)

Venue: The Horse and Groom, 28 Curtain Road, Shoreditch, London, EC2A 3NZ

Tickets £4/3

 Facebook Group

Producer Notes - Who is msft? The Storytellers Pedestal
msft, formerly known as missfit productions, has been producing events since 2006 and specializes in raising the profile of emerging artists, across the creative spectrum, (poets, performers, film makers and playwrights). msft create performance opportunities around London in quirky venues, that promise to nurture creative talent and artistic innovation. Why? - Because msft loves theatre. Not just the finished product, but all the drama that brings the product to life. For more information, images, interviews, sponsorship, or to perform/screen your work, please contact festival director Lennie Varvarides at speechmotion@makingtheatrework.com.

Warm Regards,

Scrubs Without Braff

You must have noticed by now I waste a lot of time watching movies and series'… but hey it’s like research or something. I’m examining different kinds of writing… or something… Ok maybe I’m just an insomniac glued to her laptop, whatever.

So I am not a massive Scrubs fan – I mean, I like Scrubs but I’m not an avid watcher. It’s just one of those shows that’s always on tv and of the bunch it’s probably the best during those hours I spend wasting away. It is pretty funny and JD does make me smile, so when I found out the new season wasn’t going to have Zach Braff or many of the other stars I wasn’t too sure about it. The whole show is from JD’s head, how can you take JD away?

But I’ve been sat here watching a few episodes of season 9 and though I’ve not worked out names yet I am quite enjoying it. It actually feels like it’s a different show, it’s not really Scrubs anymore but that isn’t a bad thing. It’s not good, but it’s not bad; it just is.

Part of me feels like this should actually just be a different show, that they are just feeding off the ready made fan base. But I guess if you can do it, why not? I am actually enjoying it though, I like the idea of getting to be inside the heads of the characters. I actually think it’s a technique more things should use, but then I guess it wouldn’t be so special.

What do you think? Any Scrubs fans? Any script writers? Me and my mate are going to attempt writing a horror movie so every time we watch a movie we get to call it research – maybe that’s just an excuse.

Why a horror movie? Well, they are my favourite to watch. And I reckon I understand the rules of writing horror movies the best, because I understand the movies themselves the best. I always watch them. I can almost always work out what is going to happen, because they always follow the same rules. I want to try to break some of those rules, but work out how to make it a good movie at the same time. A lot of the time, movies that don’t follow the rules, fail. I don’t want to fail!

Also, script is so much harder to write than you’d think. I attempted once (way back when I was 15) and it was a pile of **** (I am not sure if I should swear or not in my blog, I swear a lot but I don’t want to offend anyone. Comment on that too and tell me what you think). You need dialogue in a script, I mean come on – no one really wants to watch a silent movie (unless it’s a short film) but at the same time dialogue can destroy a script. I think from what I’ve learnt in reading and research is that less is more.

Try not to give everything away with the dialogue

Say as little as possible – don’t spell things out

Use dialogue to develop the characters – the way they speak, what they speak about, who it is they are

Any thing you want to share with me is always welcome – we’re all here to learn! Well some people are here for entertainment or ‘cause they’re bored, but those people can just help me learn – ‘cause heck, I’m always learning. I’m a student of the world and even when I’m not officially wearing that Student Status badge I’m always going to be a student. We all are. As soon as you stop learning, you may as well be dead.

Sorry, I ended up on a bit of a tangent with this post… 

Movie Review: First Wives Club

Ok, I know is really old and probably not actually worth reviewing, but I love Bette Midler and thought I'd take the opportunity to look at her by watching the movie again. Whilst obviously taking the opportunity to talk about my love for her by reviewing the movie. Maybe I'll do a 'Bette Midler Season' and watch Hocus Pocus tomorrow! Both have Sarah Jessica Parker in too (which I totally only just noticed! How ridiculous is that?).

So let's start by filling you all in on those standard details in case you don't already know.

First Wives Club, 1996
Director: Hugh Wilson
Writers: Olivia Goldsmith (novel) Robert Harling (screenplay)
Staring: Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton

Now, you know when you see the names of amazing actors on a film, you're always that little bit more tempted to go see it? Well, it's with good reason. Good actors promise at the very least good acting. And this is something that should never be over looked, I mean come on, you didn't watch 'Jenifer's Body' because Megan Fox can act now did you?

So after the suicide of high school friend, Cynthia Swann Griffin, who is abandoned by her husband, 3 recently divorced old friends come together to teach their exes a lesson and get some revenge. This is a witty comedy about women getting even. It might sound a little anti-men, but it's not, just anti-cheating-user-men.

They formed the First Wives Club and vow to get back at them.

Elise is an actress with a drinking problem and a fear of growing old - enough so to lead to the love of the knife. Brenda is a single mother, raising a jewish son who's father gets engaged to a ditzy young woman (Parker). Annie is afraid of confrontation, whilst raising a lesbian daughter and putting up with her mother.

Elise (Hawn) starts taking back all the possessions she ever gave to her husband who is expecting alimony, including his Lamborghini which they then trick Brenda's (Midler) ex husbands new bit into buying in auction.

They sneak into Brenda's exes new place to look for his books after finding out his business is dodgy. The bit in the window cleaning lift thing was hilarious. They're all trying to be discrete and quiet but they're screaming and freaking out and then they're falling down the side of a building and they're screaming some more. They even pause to look in on a couple in bed!

Song of the movie is You Don't Own Me which the girls sing on a couple of occasions - and I LOVE. It is actually also one of the reasons I watched the movie today! I heard the song (being sung by someone else) in a youtube video and got really excited!

So there are the ups and the downs and the girls get into a fight and smash up Elise's place a bit. Annie (Keaton), the quiet one, screams at the other two before being slapped by Brenda.

I'm not going to carry on, because if you are one of the few people who haven't seen this film in the 14 years it's been around then I don't want to ruin the story for you. There's lots of meddling and plotting and it's high quality comedy; real quality, not the usual comedic crap that floats about the place. I admit I am not usually a big comedy fan, but maybe I need to restate that: I'm not a fan of teen comedies. I'm not a fan of slapstick or cheap shots. But I damn well love this film.

Video: City Boy's Failed Love Affair

My latest poem addition to my YouTube, enjoy =]

Movie Review: I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer

Ok, you know what, the title says it all. And unless you get some sadistic pleasure out of forcing yourself through terrible horror movies, take a hint and stay away.

I on the other hand got a little bit excited trolling through Amazon for cheap horror movies I could laugh at.   Just look at the title, it has to be funny! They can't be taking themselves seriously with a title like that, right?

Well, I don't even know. I may be throwing in some spoilers here people, so if you're excited about watching this pile of wank then maybe you should look away, but I'm sure I couldn't ruin this film for you even if I tried.

It could maybe fall into the category of Aussie Comedy-Slasher or whatever, but all that means is a stupid film with lots of blood and unnecessary, over prolonged nudity. There is even a bit of body doubling from Miss Nude Australia going on, Miss Arianna Starr. Yes, there is a shower scene with the porn glow and hints towards masturbation...

Basically the film amounts to a pissed off bloke who was bullied by his cricket team as a kid, killing off his team members now that they're all grown up and he's developed super strength. There's really bad policing with one of those serial killer boards drafted up by the Australian sergeant, who is a bit of a tool. Then a British detective is brought in to aid the investigation, little do they know she is not part of the solution at all.

The cops collect up what's left of this old cricket team and put them all in a house in the middle of nowhere, calling it a safe house. Erm, I'm sorry but since when was a house in the middle of nowhere safe? Especially in a horror movie... So yeah story goes, they've put all the soon to be victims in the same house together to help out the crazy cricket guy kill the lot of them off in one go.

Dressed in a full cricket kit with a silly moustache and a big floppy hat, he goes around killing them with cricket related weapons. You have your state of the art cricket ball with nails hammered through, sharpened cricket stumps and of course the cricket bat. And if that wasn't enough, he also hammers (or screws?) nails into a cock guard (I don't actually know what they're called, but you know what I mean) to add a little bit of spice to his killings.

One guy sneaks off near the beginning to have sex with his lady friend - I don't know who she is, some woman who trekked to the middle of nowhere with a whip and handcuffs for a bit of a shag. Obviously, following the rules of a horror, he is the first of this lot to be knocked off. But not before getting his naked arse whipped by the killer a few times...

About 15 minutes is spent leading up to the death of one guy, with him sneaking around a room after finding a dead body behind him. I can only imagine this took so long because he was topless.

All in all the film goes nowhere. Everything took a really long time, but the film somehow felt incredibly short - however that works. And if it wasn't all ridiculous enough for you, they've thrown in a bit of incest at the end. Everyone loves a bit of incest when it comes to crazy murderous folk...

This film can now take it's rightful place on my list of worst films ever, along with The Forest and Wolf Creek etc

Go check it out =p therunsmovie.com

Behold, The Album!

Hello Internet.

I have created an album consisting of a collection of my poetry, including a bonus track which cannot be found online as well as a few other never before heard tracks.

Artwork by Gregory Gaige

It only costs £4 plus P&P and any money I make is going towards the budget of my first short film. I need to get prosthetics and make up and stuff -

You can check out my poetry at my Myspace or on YouTube to get an idea of whether it's something you are going to like or not. It's Christmas time, so what a wonderful present it could make for someone =p

^^

Buy my CD!

SuperPennie - From The Outside In
£4.50 + p&p
Be sure to click either the UK or Worldwide option to ensure the postage is right =]

SuperPennie - From The Outside In

From The Outside In (UK) £6.00 From The Outside In (Worldwide) £7.50