Stolen Minutes

      (This is my study face)

I am down to my last week before I reach my presubmission deadline. 9 essays due in on Monday 12th (it's currently Tues 6th for anyone wondering and too lazy to look). This is pretty scary, but I definitely feel as though it's an actual possibility. I came into uni this morning to have a one on one with the dyslexia tutor man, who helped me come up with an action plan and split my time up. I felt really anxious and sick when I realised how much time I had left last night, but I'm feeling ok today. Let's hope it lasts long enough (at least the week, come on!) for me to get all this work done...

Now, I've not written a blog for a while and since my last entry quite a bit has happened that I want to talk about with you. All these things deserve a decent amount of attention, but this is me taking a short break from studying so I wont stick around for long enough to talk about it all - and besides, you wouldn't want to troll through a massive long post all in one go now, would you?

Didn't think so.

So I'm going to give you a quick, what's what, and maybe next time I'm taking a break from philosophy I'll go into things a bit more.

Do you remember me talking about my friend that died on New Years Day? Well, when the car hit her it hit 4 other people too. Carrie died then and there, and I really hope she didn't notice, but who knows. Two of the others were left in comas, one was injured and the other got lucky I guess. Last week, Chelsea, who has been in a coma since the accident and been through the operations we thought would save her, died. About a week after her 20th birthday. I probably said this before, but 20 year olds are not meant to die. I want to say something meaningful, but I'm lost for words. Losing two friends in the space of three months is horrible. But look at me, feeling sorry for myself. 'Cause isn't that all grieving is, feeling sorry for yourself for having to deal with this loss? I'm not really sure what I believe when it comes to what happens next and all that, but I'm pretty sure it's not a lot. I don't believe in things like the soul, we're just a collection of cells and stuff buzzing around, making things happen. So I imagine when I die and my consciousness ends, that'll be it; for my consciousness. But my body? My body is part of this universe, it's part of existence. And it will continue to be part of everything forever. It might not look like me for very long, but it'll change form and move on. I think we're tied in with the universe; with nature I suppose. Maybe I need to look into Buddhism or something when I get a chance, 'cause I know they say something about cosmic energy... or something.

It seems we are surrounded by death all the time; yeah it's depressing to lose people you're close to and it's scary to come face to face with your own motality but I think there's something in this for us to walk away from. A lot of the time, we live as though we have forever. We put things off all the time and save for dreams we're never going to reach. Or worse, we saves for standard grown up things like a house and a car and don't even attempt those dreams your childhood self wanted nothing more than to achieve.

I think we all need to stop trying to be what we think we are meant to be, and just be. Do those things you want to do. See those people you want to see. I dare you to be happy. 'Cause in this Capitalist society of ours, happiness is definitely not on the agenda; it's a waste of time. But relax, 'cause we're not in a race.

Now, I've had my break so I'm hitting the books again. Wish me luck...

___

I just spoke to a friend of mine about this blog post and she just made a really good point. It's important that when you lose someone, who was really important to you, you don't allow their life to have been in vain. Take something positive from everyone around you, 'cause you can learn something all the time. Let these people affect your life and your out look and try to always be your best and try to always find happiness, 'cause we need each other sometimes. I'm not sure that's exactly what she was getting at and I'm not sure I've really said what I wanted to say, but it made me think.

... I think I sound like a nut job.

Unfinished Poetry

All year I've been trying to write a poem; a specific poem. You know the one.

I have ended up with a series of unfinished poems. Poems I didn't know where to go with, poems where I couldn't find the right words, poems that didn't even piece together.

So this is a shorty to ask the writers out there for advice on the matter. What do you do when you want to write a poem you can't write? When there is something you need to say that wont come out...

I am toying with the idea of just posting up my unfinished pieces, but I'm particular when it comes to my poetry. I want it to be perfect, or at least be good enough to show people - that first draft. So while I debate the matter, I am calling for help. Poets, writers and whoever else might have a plan - how do I finish that unfinished masterpiece?


I figured I'd add a vid I made ages ago after reading 23discordians comment:

OPEN CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

Below is an open call for writers I've been asked to share with you. If I have any playwrights amongst my readers this may be of interest to them =] 



Open Call for submissions: DYS-PLA


msft are looking for 60 min plays by dyslexic theatre writers to produce as part of the DYS-PLA festival taking place in November 2010 at the THEATRO TECHNIS Theatre. We are able to offer between 2-4 night run and will provide actors, directors, rehearsal space (limited), and full publicity. The plays can be on any subject the writer wishes to dramatise, and we welcome scripts about learning differences, hidden differences and other neo-diversity topics. The deadline for first draft submissions is the 1 May 2010. All scripts will be chosen by 1 August 2010. Please email submissions to dyssing@makingtheatrework.com


Sunday Surgery – script development and staged performances
Every last Sunday of the month from February 28th 2010, at The Edinburgh Cellars, 125 Newington Green Road, London

Sunday Surgery is intended as a creative think tank where writers of all mediums may experiment and develop their new writing and gain constructive feedback from a supportive audience.

msft offers a Sunday Service for experienced as well as novice writers, where you can develop creative ideas, build characters and push your plot to its dramatic limits. We are not here to ‘teach’ you how to write, we are here to make what you write come to life. Once you have created a story, msft will provide space to put it on its feet, a professional director and trained actors to bring it to life in front of an audience. Successful Sunday Surgery work will then be developed further and considered for selection for msft’s festivals of new work, Write Side of the Brain and the DYS-PLA festival, to take place at a top London Venue in November 2010.


We welcome 10-60 page submissions from writers all year round – please note that submissions received by the 1st of each month will be considered for that month’s Sunday Surgery. We accept anything from first drafts up to completed scripts. msft also encourages submissions from writers with a learning difference such as dyslexia .

Please send all submissions to sundaysurgery@googlemail.com.

If you have any questions or would like to find out more about msft or our other events, please email: Lennie[AT]makingtheatrework[DOT]com