Everybody wants to be loved. People want recognition for who they are and for their strengths. A lot of the time, if people feel as though they are not getting these things, they fall into themselves. They question their worth and their ability; question themselves. Ironically if you don't have faith in yourself it becomes difficult for other people to have any in you.
Modesty is drummed in as a virtue, when pride is seen as a vice. This confuses the situation; people proud of their accomplishments play them down to look modest. This makes others lose interest and almost agree that it's not a big deal or they see that you're wrong and lose respect for you. But of course, pride can be misconstrued as arrogance and piss people off so that doesn't do you any favours either.
So what is it people are supposed to do? What is the middle ground?
I imagine in most cases the answer is: lie.
Pretend that you think you're pretty. Pretend that you think you're skinny. Pretend that you think you're great.
Or vice versa, pretend you don't think you're that pretty or that great.
What good does lying to everyone do? Well, I'm not a self help guru. I can't help anyone out and I can't solve the worlds problems. But I have noticed that if you pretend you think you're pretty and you look comfortable in your skin people will warm to your confidence. It draws people in.
People love confidence and can't help themselves. But nobody is attracted to the fat kid pulling at his tummy. So maybe the answer is doubt silently and put on your game face when you're out and about. You'll get more friends, more work, more everything. Because those are the people that succeed in life. And heck, maybe if you lie to yourself enough, you'll start to believe it and sooner or later you will be comfortable in your own skin. Maybe if you play the game you'll get to win in the real world AND in your own head.
Nobody achieves anything sat around sulking.
You have to listen to your inner critic and instead of letting him beat you down into a dark room, prove the fucker wrong!
It is unfortunate that lying is the only way to prosper. The world doesn't like having to hear about your insecurities or your depression. We'd much rather hear about how well you got through things in spite of your situation. We want heros not cry babies. I think you are on to something with this lying thing kid.
ReplyDeleteThere's another way round. You should probably just believe in yourself, but try and entertain others with self-mockery and sarcasm. So you can retain both your confidence and modesty.
ReplyDeleteW