The Poor Student

So, remember Hello Budget? It was my little rant about how I have no money and have to put myself on a budget or face a period of time where I wont have a penny to my name.

Well, if you remember I allocated myself a generous £100 a week, thinking that would be plenty. How could I possibly spend more than that in a week? I don't really ever go out and I haven't been shopping in ages (though I do think about new jeans and new t-shirts and new bras on a daily basis, not going to lie). But somehow every week I have actually gone over and just taken some of my allowance away from future weeks - I'm keeping track in the calendar on NewMac (it's not a creative name, but it's his name - obviously I'm referring to my Macbook to anyone who didn't pick up on that) so I can see how much I'm spending and now I'm down to £60 a week from here on.

Now, £60 still shouldn't really be an issue considering I live at home. I haven't even bought a book in ages! There was a brief time (like December-February) where I was ordering a new book or dvd almost everyday! Granted, I don't have time to read or watch any of these purchases but I am set for the next few years with things to read - and let's be honest, writers rarely ever make much money so I wont be able to fritter away cash like I've been doing for the last three years. I think having a student loan (and having a job that didn't really feel much like work (mostly) for a year) has damaged my grasp of economics. I don't really have much understanding of the value of money, 'cause it doesn't mean much to me. When I have money, I'll spend it on other people just as quickly as I spend it on myself. It's just this standardised means for exchange that fuels an egotistical society. And ok, yeah, I am part of this society and need to learn to function within it, because I can't just pretend to be a little kid forever - but I sure as Hell plan to find a way to do both; to function and maintain at least a dash of youthfulness, forever.

My girlfriend unfortunately lives kinda far away. Not massive far away, it's only an hour on a big train, but it means paying for train tickets. This in fact means that if I go to Swindon every weekend that's half of my weekly budget already gone. If only I lived in the 60s when people bartered for stuff and I could just trade poems for things. Now that would have been perfect! But it's ok, when I'm done with all this uni stuff, it'll be less backing and forthing a bit =]

Now this isn't me complaining, 'cause she is a bit amazing and worth the empty pockets. It's just me wingeing, 'cause I'm a girl. And 'cause I want to buy tickets to Download soon and if I do that's 3 weeks money - that's 3 weeks I can't do anything... Other than go to uni, 'cause my travel card isn't included in the budget.

This is only going to be until April something anyway when the next instalment of student loan comes through - and this time I'll just manage it better to begin with instead of wasting so much of it on an Amazon addiction and pretty t-shirts. Online shopping is a dangerous thing...

Thanks to the way things work over in the UK and the fact that I'm not two years older and lucky enough to have missed the price hike, I will probably be paying back my student loan for the rest of my life so I'm resigned to the idea of never having much money.

That's how it's meant to be for artists, right? We need to suffer; it spurs creativity. Or, something.... Most of my best writing moments have come out of me spiralling in a pit personal angst and procrastination. Happiness inspires me to write too, but it makes me uncomfortable so I normally stop and hide my creation away somewhere. I think happy poems or love poems almost always just sound a bit cheesy, but maybe that's just 'cause I'm a bit of a pessimist or something.