Thursday, 11 March 2010
This is one of those things that everyone seems to always be 'trying' to do. Everyone wants to lose weight (or at least everyone I'm surrounded by). What I hate is when I look at myself, acknowledge the fat bits and make the decision to improve then someone comes along and lies to me. I hate being told I'm not fat when I clearly am. I mean ok, I know I'm not morbidly obese or anything, but if I'm strutting around in size 34 jeans I'm definitely not skinny - not when I used to don 28s.
Before university I was about 56kg and training at least 3 times a week, doing Taekwon Do. I was trying to get down to 54kg so I could be in the top end of the weight bracket if I wanted to compete instead of the bottom end. I was teaching and training and always working out. I miss TKD more than you know and think about going back all the time, but I'm a little embarrassed. I'm ashamed of myself for stopping and for getting fat. If I get back down to the size I was before, then I'll feel better about myself and maybe it'll be less embarrassing to go back. Maybe I'll just hang up my black belt for good and take up a new art, how about Jujitsu?
Then I started uni and it was just too much hassle to make it to the class. Then I got a job in a club and it was impossible to make it to the class. So I stopped. And I was a student so obviously drinking more and eating more - whilst not working out at all (apart from dancing like a loon in clubs).
So I put on loads of weight. My size 10 jeans were put away and haven't been looked at since I was 19. My face exploded with my waste and I just carried on pastaring it up with piles of cheese and lots of naps. This was clearing a stupid plan...
This year (academic year, so September 09) I moved back home so I wouldn't have to work in my final year. My parents live in London so I didn't need to live alone and paying rent was too much hassle. My best mate is big on the weight loss so just being around him is pretty encouraging. Since I've been back I have gone from 68kg to 59kg. The amount I'm losing has increased as time's gone on, so I wasn't losing much for the first few months. I think that might be about a stone and a half for people that don't do kg but at TKD that's always what we worked in.
I still don't do much exercise, but I do watch what I eat a bit more. I walk everywhere and whenever I take the underground I always walk up the escalators instead of just standing and wasting time waiting. Apart from the massive one at Holborn station... I can only make it half way before I feel like death... I'm clearly still massive unfit, but smaller.
I've got a picture of Keira Knightley working out as my background on the mac, which reminds me not to sit and pig out all day everyday. It reminds me what hard work and dedication can get you. Unfortunately, I don't have much of either most of the time. So she reminds me what it is I want, in case I forget.
I looked up what my bmi should be for my height and in the summer I was technically over weight. I am currently at the top end of normal, but I would very much prefer to be at the bottom end of that scale.
I would also very much like a nice stomach and nice back so sit ups are becoming a daily activity. It's the plan at least. Let's hope I stick to it. I'll share my progress with you once in a while and if any of you lot fall into the "I'm not happy with my body" box feel free to join my journey. It's all about building communities.
Part of me feels like admitting my self consciousness here may not be that sensible. It un-arms and leaves me defenceless. But heck, we've been together a while now and I'm just starting to open up... who know's how good an idea that is in the long run....
I'll post two pictures so you can compare my face in July and my face now =] Not really great comparative pictures, but I can't be bothered to sit and photoshop pictures together and make it work better.