An Emotional Day; A Nostalgic Lifetime.

Yesterday I went to the funeral of one of my friends. We've known each other since we were maybe 5 years old and on the 1st on January she was taken away. A bunch of boy racers thought it a good idea to speed up onto a pavement and take down a group of people. The result? 600 people at a crematorium saying their goodbyes and remembering the times they spent with her.

Her name; Carrie Maclaren.

And it shall not be forgotten. I have never seen so many people turn up to pay tribute before. It was actually quite incredible. There were people from primary school, secondary school and university as well as family and all other places she crossed paths, all there. We filled two chapels and spilled out into the corridors.

I have never cried so much. Photos of Carrie were being projected onto the wall, showing her life. She looked so happy (and very often drunk). After the service we all filled into hall to catch up and reminisce. Hundreds of lanterns were let loose to rise up into the air. You can see the photo to the left. Unfortunately it isn't something you can really photograph all that well, but you get the idea. It was beautiful. It was amazing to see how many people cared about her. How one girl touched so many peoples lives. I was touched by the sight of it all. She was too young to have been taken yet, 20 year olds are not meant to die.


The experience showed me how many faces I've lost to the past. How many people I just don't talk to anymore, not for any real reason other than growing up and growing apart. It helped me realise how much time I waste to missed opportunities. From here I'm going to make a difference. To change. I'm going to try to be better because there is no point wasting my life away. There's just no point.

In times like this people turn to religion for answers. For reasons why and for promises of things to come. Religion makes death easier because it lets you believe the person didn't really die. That death is just a step towards something better. But religion also implies that life doesn't even matter as all it is, is the time before you die. The time spent waiting for that promise of something better. I don't believe any of this. I don't think.

But I do believe we're all just energy. I believe that nothing ever ends, just changes. Things move from form to form but never end. Nothing can just disappear, nor can it just appear. So I believe when you die you go back to nature in a way. You are part of the world and will always be part of the world. You may not have the sort of consciousness that comes with being human, but you still are. And this is where I find comfort. In the thought that we are all connected and part of the same whole. The thought that death is just a state, a process of transferal into another form.

What do you think?